


Exquisite

by Cartecka



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-09-26 23:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9928238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cartecka/pseuds/Cartecka
Summary: Just another mistaken identity fic. Kara falls in love with Lena, but how could a junior reporter ever compete with Supergirl?





	1. Chapter 1

It's a terrible idea and Kara knows it. This should not be happening and it needs to stop.

But god, the last thing Kara wants right now is to stop kissing Lena.

It’s not kissing Lena that’s the issue. Kara can’t pretend that she hasn’t thought about it before and she can’t deny that _anyone_ would be lucky to kiss the gorgeous CEO. The issue is that Kara is currently wearing a red cape and as far as Lena knows, she is not kissing Kara.

But the more Lena kisses her, the less it feels like a problem. After all, it’s easier to do this as Supergirl because, as Cat had told her that once, Supergirl isn’t really a person. Supergirl is an icon, an image, a concept. The human embodiment of hope. So it’s okay that Lena is kissing Supergirl because it doesn’t really count. Supergirl doesn’t really exist. They don’t have to worry about feelings being hurt or hearts being broken.

At least that’s what Kara tells herself as Lena runs her fingers along her ribs and then higher, brushing her fingers over the crests of Kara’s breasts. Her suit is thick, but not so thick that she doesn’t feel it and gasp a little. Lena smiles against her lips and Kara wonders if Lena gets a thrill off of having this much power turn to putty in her hands.

She doesn’t let herself worry about it too much when Lena presses her harder against her desk and bites down on her lower lip _hard_. If Kara had been human, Lena would have certainly drawn blood, but as it is, it doesn’t even hurt. It does send a thrill down Kara spine though and suddenly, she’s not close enough to Lena.

Kara lifts her easily, hands under her thighs and carries her to Lena’s couch where she sits down with Lena straddling her hips. The little moan that Lena lets out makes Kara think that yes, Lena probably does have a thing for how strong she is. Kara slides her hands softly up Lena’s thighs, taking her black dress with her and Lena’s hands slide from Kara’s shoulder to her hair. They yank, rough and desperate and while Kara could easily fight back and ignore Lena’s non verbal request, she really has no desire to do so and she lets her head fall back so that Lena can suck and bite and lick at her neck.

Before Kara knows it, her hands are traveling further up Lena’s legs and Lena is grinding into her lap. Kara gasps a little every time Lena rolls her hips and it only seems to spur her on.

“Supergirl,” Lena says softly, half a gasp, half a plea. She takes one of her hands and places it over Kara’s directing towards the inside of her thighs. “Touch me.”

Kara can’t say no.

 

* * *

 

The issue with Supergirl sleeping with Lena is that Kara has to face her the next day. She doesn’t realize how much of a problem it will be until she actually gets to Noonan’s where she and Lena had agreed to meet. She walks in with some pep in her step and a smile on her face because she feels good. She’s happy.

But when Kara catches sight of Lena and the slight discoloration of concealer along her neck, too subtle for any human to notice, but certainly present enough for her to see, she can’t help but blush. Memories of the night before come rushing into her head and for a second, Kara debates walking right out of the cafe so that she doesn’t have to look Lena in the eye.

But she can’t do that because she’s Kara right now and _Kara_ didn’t sleep with her. Kara has no reason to avoid her and if only to keep up appearances, Kara has to go and have coffee with Lena. But it’ll be okay. Easy.

“Hey, Kara! It’s so good to see you again!”

Not easy. Lena’s smile is wide and genuine. Kara knows it’s just for her because the CEO doesn’t smile like this around anyone else as far as Kara has seen. Her eyes are sparkling and her lips are red and Kara really, really, really wants to kiss her.

“Uh, hey, L-lena. How was… Um, I mean how are you?”

Kara supposes that she should be grateful right now that she’s incapable of forming a full sentence even on good days. At least her fumbling isn’t _totally_ out of character. Lena still frowns a little, half amused, half confused.

“I’m fine. Are you okay? You seem a little…” Lena waves her hand vaguely as she tries to find the word she’s looking for. Kara wonders what that word might be as well. Does she seem nervous? Distracted? Or does she seem like she used her alternate identity to sleep with the woman in front of her yesterday? Does she look like she’s doing everything in her power to erase the sight of porcelain thighs and smudged lipstick from her mind?

“Kara?” Lena says, shifting so that she’s in Kara’s line of sight. It’s only then that Kara realizes that her mind drifted off. She knows that Lena must have said something but she can’t figure out what it might have been.

“Are you okay, Kara?” Lena asks seriously. “You seem a little out of sorts.”

“I, uh, yeah. I’m fine. I just… work. You know how it is. There’s always something. And my boss has been, uh, riding me… uh no, I mean, not that. He’s been, um, putting a lot of pressure on me.”

Kara knows that she’s blushing and she really wishes she weren’t.

“Oh, are you busy? If you were, we could have cancelled,” Lena says and it strikes Kara that she looks a little… Kara can’t place it. It’s somewhere between guilty and disappointed and Kara’s heart constricts at the sight.

“No,” she says too loudly, and then continues quieter. “I like having lunch with you. I’m sorry I haven’t been great company. There’s just… stuff.”

Lena’s expression melts into a relieved smile.

“Well alright then. If you need to vent, I’m happy to listen,” Lena says.

“It’s just. He’s so… mean,” Kara says. “And I know I just started and all that but…”

It’s easy to rant about Snapper and Kara doesn’t trip over her words because it’s all _true_ and she has a lot of feelings about it. At least she’s found a way to redirect Lena’s attention. As Kara rants on, Lena’s smile only grows and it strikes Kara that even though she’s just complaining about her day, Lena seems to be taking in every word. Like she actually cares and it’s amazing because even _Alex_ who loves Kara more than anyone else in the world would have zoned out by now. It makes her feel warm and happy and god, she wants this for the rest of her life. The realization hits Kara like a truck.

She _likes_ Lena. Past friendship and past attraction, Kara really likes Lena. Which she really should have known since she’d _slept_ with her. But she’d written off the night before as just an opportunity for her to let off steam and Lena had been there, attractive and available. But no. Kara wouldn’t have done that with anyone else. It’s suddenly hard to talk, hard to swallow, hard to do anything other than just stare at Lena who has taken Kara’s silence as an invitation to offer advice. She talks, but Kara can’t hear a word.

She’d known, vaguely, in the back of her mind that she liked girls. It had been one of those things about herself that she’d accepted but hadn’t ever acted on for some reason. It had always been easier with boys and Kara had never found herself struggling to find one when she’d wanted to. She’d never had an attraction this strong to any girl and she’d never _liked_ a girl. Ever. Not like this.

So the fact that it’s Lena Luthor, someone who is desperately out of her league in every respect — appearance, social standing, personality, intelligence — and the fact that it’s highly likely that she’s already ruined things by sleeping with her, makes Kara’s stomach hurt. She’s vaguely aware that Lena’s stopped talking and she nods, hoping it’s an appropriate response. Luckily, before she has to say anything her phone rings.

It’s the DEO and Kara has never been more grateful for a bank robbery than she is right now. She sputters out her usual excuse to Lena and promises to text her later.

 

* * *

 

When Alex comes over that night, Kara knows she has to tell her everything. Partially because she needs to tell _someone_ and it’s not like she can talk to Winn or James or Mon-El about it (Why do all her male friends have feelings for her?) and partially because she knows that if Alex somehow finds out from someone else, she will kill Kara. She might kill Kara anyway.

Of course, as soon as Alex is in front of her, it becomes a lot harder because this isn’t going to be an easy conversation by any means. Kara shifts uneasily in her seat on the couch, trying to gather up the courage to just blurt it out which is, of course, something Alex picks up on less than five minutes after arriving at Kara’s apartment.

“Okay, what’s wrong?” Alex asks, hands on her hips and an ever so slight edge to her voice that tells Kara there is no way she would be getting out of this.

Kara sits on the couch quietly for a bit, trying to find the best way to phrase what she’s saying. Alex waits patiently but grows more agitated every second and Kara can hear it in her breathing and in her heartbeat. Kara isn’t known for being silent or for picking her words wisely and Kara knows that Alex is worried.

“I… Okay, so I need you to know that… this is the first time this has happened.”

“What happnened?”

“I did a really dumb thing,” Kara says.

Alex sits on the couch quietly, waiting for Kara to elaborate. She tilts her head to the side and purses her lips slightly.

“I slept with Lena.”

Alex stares at Kara for a long time. She blinks a few times, opens her mouth, closes it again, frowns and then very slowly and very softly says, “What?”

“I slept with Lena,” Kara repeats and then adds, “As Supergirl.”

Alex’s confusion and slight concern morph almost immediately into anger. Kara had expected it, of course, since she was pretty angry at herself, but that doesn’t make it easier. It’s never easy to have Alex mad at her.

“You what?” Alex shouts. “Are you serious? You slept with Lena Luthor as Supergirl. Do you know how crazy that is? I mean, even if you do trust her, which I’m still a little iffy about, you shouldn’t be sleeping with _anyone_ as Supergirl. Especially not someone as high profile as Lena Luthor. Can you imagine what would happen if the media found out?”

Kara opens her mouth and closes it again, because, no, she hadn’t actually considered that at all. She knows from working in a media company that they would have a field day. Hell, Cat would probably come back to Catco just for the opportunity to report it.

“What even possessed you to do that?” Alex asks. “Do you even _like_ girls?”

“Yes,” Kara says softly. “I mean, I think I have for a while. I… it was easier with guys because they would flirt with me and I like guys too. But yeah, I like girls and Alex… I really like Lena. Like a lot and I really fucked up because I slept with her already and, oh my god, does it count as consent if she said yes to Supergirl but not to me?”

“You are Supergirl…” Alex says.

“Yeah, but I’m also Kara. What if she didn’t want to sleep with Kara? Do you think she’ll be mad when she finds out?”

“Woah, woah. She won’t find out. You cannot tell her who you really are,” Alex says. “Enough people already know about your secret identity and I trust James and Winn and Mon-El kind of. And I trust Lucy of course, but I don’t trust Lena, and,” Alex says, holding her hand up to stop Kara from speaking, “before you imply that it’s because she’s a Luthor, let me just say that it has nothing to do with that. I mean, yeah it doesn’t help. But honestly, we don’t know that much about her.”

“She saved the entire alien population in National City,” Kara says harshly. “What more do you need?”

“It’s a start,” Alex says. “And I do trust that she’s not like her brother. But we don’t know anything about her personally. Think about it Kara. There isn’t anyone in the world who knows your identity who hasn’t been invited to game night at some point.”

Kara wants to keep arguing, to keep defending Lena but she knows that, as usual, Alex is right.

“So, what should I do?”

“Nothing,” Alex says. “You can’t do anything. You have to act normal around her, pretend that nothing’s changed.”

“But Alex,” Kara says softly. “I like her.”

Alex softens and comes to sit next to Kara on the couch, pulling her into a hug.

“I don’t want you getting hurt, Kara. I know you like her, but the chance that she will connect the dots between you and Supergirl is too much of a risk. You can’t do anything."

 

* * *

 

Kara agrees albeit reluctantly. She takes a few days away from Lena, citing being too busy with work to meet up, which is not entirely untrue. She hopes it will get easier and that the next time she sees Lena, she’ll be able to do it without remembering her naked and panting above her. Unfortunately, if her dreams are anything to go by, it won’t be that easy.

She finally agrees to see her again after a week because she misses Lena and even if she can’t date her or kiss her or do anything like that, she can’t stand the thought of losing her altogether.

So they meet up and this time, Kara manages to act _normal_ and she has fun, though there’s this ache in her chest that she recognizes. It’s the same feeling she had when she learned that James was dating Lucy. It’s there now and Kara hates it.

“So, have you heard anything from Supergirl recently?” Lena asks, seemingly out of the blue.

“Uh, I… no, not really. Nothing monumental has happened recently and we usually don’t talk unless there’s a reason. Why?”

“Oh, just wondering. She’s been pretty quiet the last few days.”

“The city’s been pretty quiet,” Kara replies.

“Do you ever think about what she does when she’s not Supergirl? Like she’s an alien but she’s still got to sleep right? And eat? I wonder where and when she does that.”

Kara shrugs. She really hopes Lena will let it go. This line of questioning is only going to get them both in trouble.

“I mean, do you think she’s Supergirl all the time? Has she got friends? She’s got her cousin in Metropolis but that’s far away even by her standards. Do you think she gets lonely?”

Kara opens her mouth but stops herself from speaking when she realizes she doesn’t have anything to say that wouldn’t be incriminating.

“I don’t know,” is what she settles with.

“You never asked?”

“I… I wanted to,” Kara says, hoping that it sounds genuine. “But it’s not really my business I guess and she works hard to hide that part of her life so… I never really asked and she hasn’t told me anything.”

Lena nods pensively. 

“Why do you ask?”

“Just curious,” Lena says and just like that the subject is dropped.

 

* * *

 

Lena is attacked again. This time, instead of her brother, it’s a half-baked anti-Luthor protestor who somehow makes it past security and into her office armed with a canister of tear gas and a gas mask. His goal is clearly just to hurt her, not kill her, but as soon as Supergirl hears the distressed calls of Lena’s employees, she’s there. It’s easy to inhale the gas, though it does sting a little going down, and she barely has to touch the guy to knock him out.

Lena still looks at her as if she saved the whole city.

“Thank you, Supergirl,” she says and Kara doesn’t miss the way her eyes dance from Kara’s face to her chest and lower until they hit her boots and then they circle back up. Kara doesn’t think anyone has every checked her out like this before. She’s gotten cautious and shy glances from Winn and James, both of them trying to look without getting caught. She’s gotten lascivious gazes, paired with overconfident smirks from men in bars and on the street. But she’d never been looked at like this, like she was the most beautiful thing in the world, like there was nothing in the world Lena wanted more. Despite herself, Kara blushes.

“Uh, Miss Luthor, you should um, probably go home. I mean, the police are on their way to question your security to see how he got by. But maybe just to be safe…” Kara lets the sentence trail off. Lena is stepping closer to her.

“You’re right, Supergirl. Absolutely. How about you give me a lift?”

Kara freezes. There are voices, so many voices bouncing around in her skull. One that sounds like Clark is telling her to be professional and to decline politely. Alex’s voice is telling her that they talked about this and that this is a mistake. A voice that sounds a little like Mon-El is telling her to just go for it, what harm could come. And then there’s a voice that sounds a little like hers but maybe a little more ambitious, telling her that if Kara can’t have Lena, then Supergirl may as well.

It’s such a bad decision. And Kara knows that she’s going to regret it as soon as she does it but she nods and steps closer to Lena, and gently hoists her in her arms. Lena wraps her arms around Kara’s shoulders, the movement bringing her mouth within centimeters of Kara’s cheek and Kara can feel Lena’s breath and hear her heartbeat. She is painfully aware of how fast it is and she’s even more aware of how her own heartbeat speeds up to match it.

Kara takes off. She follows Lena’s whispered directions to her apartment: a beautiful penthouse with a view to rival Catco’s. She doesn’t really notice though, because as soon as she puts Lena down, she’s being dragged, not so gently into Lena’s bedroom. She lets herself get thrown onto the bed and she lets Lena push her arms up over her head and pin them down. She lets Lena kiss down her throat to the edge of her outfit and then back up. She gasps when Lena’s knee slides between her legs and god this is a mistake, but it doesn’t feel like one right now. And when Lena grinds down ever so slightly, Kara forgets what the word mistake even means. She can only think about Lena. Lena’s lips, her nails digging into Kara’s wrists, and how her hips fit so nicely into the cradle of Kara’s.

They’re interrupted by a shrill ringing that Kara recognizes as her DEO phone. The rational part of her is relieved because that means that they have to stop and Kara can get herself together. The rest of her groans in disappointment. Lena’s grip on her hands tightens and she pushes closer, increasing the pressure between Kara’s legs and biting at her neck. It’s almost reason enough to ignore the phone, which was probably Lena’s goal, but her phone rings again, high-pitched and insistent and Kara can’t ignore it. She gently pushes Lena off of her and reaches into her boot where she stores it.

“Yeah?”

“Where the hell are you?”

It’s Alex on the other line and she sounds mad.

“There was an incident at L-Corp. I thought I should escort Miss Luthor home.”

“Okay? The cops told me that much. But you should be back by now. Are you still there?”

“I… uh, Lena is… she seemed worried and I just wanted to make sure she was okay.”

It’s weak and Kara knows it but she also knows Alex won’t push her on it right now.

“Well there’s a fire downtown. It’s bad and the fire department could really use your help.”

“Yeah, okay,” Kara says. “I’m on it.”

She hangs up and looks at Lena. It’s a mistake. Lena’s dress is bunched up where it rode up her thighs and her lipstick is smudged and her pupils are blown. She looks incredibly sexy and Kara can’t believe that she has to leave. Part of her wants to kiss her one more time, but she thinks that if she does she won’t be able to stop. And anyway, her and Lena’s relationship isn’t really one that requires goodbye kisses.

“I…” Kara pauses to clear her throat. “I have to go.”

Lena eyes her intensely. Kara can’t tell if she’s mad or frustrated or annoyed but Lena just nods and her expression smooths over.

“Go on then, Supergirl.”

Kara gets to her feet a little shakily. She’s still turned on and it coils lower in her stomach making her legs feel like they don’t quite belong to her. She’s about to step out of the window to fly when Lena stops her.

“Supergirl. You should maybe…” Lena gestures vaguely to her neck. Kara’s hand flies to her neck. She can’t get hickeys but that doesn’t mean that Lena’s lipstick isn’t smudged everywhere. Kara grabs a tissue and flies off, doing her best to wipe it all off as she makes her way downtown.

 

* * *

 

Alex is at Kara’s apartment when Kara gets back and really, Kara should have expected it.

“So, today,” Alex says. “You, uh, you were a little breathless when you answered the phone from _Lena’s_ apartment.”

It’s clear she’s as uncomfortable talking about this as Kara is hearing it, but in true Alex fashion, she doesn’t back down.

“Kara, please tell me you didn’t sleep with her again.”

“I didn’t,” Kara says and she knows her voice is too shrill.

“Because I interrupted you before you got that far or because you actually didn’t?” Alex asks, and the judgement drips from her tone.

“I…”

Disappointing Alex is the worst feeling in the world, Kara thinks, worse than Kryptonite and worse than getting stabbed and worse than losing her powers. Alex shakes her head.

“Never again, Kara. You’re going to get yourself in trouble. Look, from now on, you need to stay away from Lena 100%. No more random late night visits. No more saving her for something her security can handle. Okay? The DEO will keep an extra eye out for her if you want, but you can’t keep getting involved with her.”

Kara doesn’t say anything. Alex is right. She’s so right, of course, but that doesn’t mean that Kara has to like it.

“And maybe stay away from her as Kara.”

“I can’t do that,” Kara says before Alex can even finish the thought. “I care about her Alex and I know she doesn’t have many friends and I don’t want her to be lonely. I… I’ll stay away from her as Supergirl but I still want to be her friend.”

“Friend?” Alex asks in disbelief.

“Yes, if I can’t be anything else to her, then I would like to be her friend. Please, Alex.”

Alex sighs and then nods.

“Fine. But if things go south, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

 

* * *

 

Lena must notice that Kara is acting tentatively around her because she asks almost within two minutes of Kara being there what is wrong. And this time, she won’t take ‘work' as an answer.

“Come on, Kara. It’s clear that something is bothering you. We’re friends. You can talk to me.”

“I… I did something I shouldn’t have done and I can’t tell you what it is, but the thing is…. I wanted to do it? Like, I knew it was a bad idea but I really, really wanted to. And I could do it again, probably, if I wanted to, but I shouldn’t. But I want to. Does that make sense?”

“Why can’t you do this thing? Is it illegal? Does it hurt other people? Does it hurt you?”

“It…” Kara struggles to find the words she needs to explain. “It could go wrong and if it did it would make, not only my life, but the lives of a few other people very difficult.”

“But you want to do it anyway?”

“Well, I mean, the act itself is very enjoyable,” Kara says and then bites the inside of her cheek as soon as she realizes exactly how that sounded.

“The act…” Lena says thoughtfully, “Kara, are you talking about sex? Did you sleep with someone you shouldn’t have?”

Kara gapes at her for a second too long and it’s too late to think of a believable lie, so instead Kara blushes deeply and nods.

“Who did you sleep with?” Lena asks, curiously, mirth dancing in her eyes. She seems to be endlessly amused by Kara’s predicament. If only she knew…

“No one,” Kara mumbles, hoping Lena will drop it.

“James? Is it a problem because you broke up? Or because he’s technically your boss?”

“No, no it wasn’t James,” Kara says. “You, uh, it’s not someone you know.”

Kara says and maybe that’s technically true. Lena doesn’t _know_ the person she slept with. Lena just _is_ the person she slept with.Lena lets out a disappointed breath. It probably would have been much more fun if it had been someone she knew.

“Would it really be _that_ bad if you slept with them again?”

“I…” Kara wants to say no, to justify it to Lena and to herself but she can’t. “Yes.”

“Well, in that case, how about I keep you distracted. Come out with me tonight,” Lena says. “We’ll go to a bar and find a cute guy for you to hook up with and you can try and forget about this other person. How’s that sound?”

Absolutely appalling really. Kara’s never been good at picking people up at bars and it’s never her favorite environment. They’re usually too loud and too crowded and she can’t get drunk anyway so what was the point? And having _Lena_ keep her distracted kind of defeats the purpose. But, Lena is smiling up at her and she looks so excited and ready to help that Kara finds herself nodding despite herself.

“Great! I’ll pick you up tonight around eight-ish. Make sure to dress sexy. Wear something that shows off your legs,” Lena says, brightly.

 

* * *

 

Kara is ready to go at 7:30 and she spends the half an hour waiting for Lena by flitting around her apartment. She gets two seconds into cleaning something before putting it down because she is _not_ flustered or nervous and she should not be _stress_ cleaning right now. It’s just a night out with a friend to meet a cute guy. That’s all it is.

When Lena knocks on Kara’s door at eight, Kara has already run through five hundred different ways of telling Lena that she couldn’t go anymore. She’s considered saying she was sick, saying her sister was sick, saying that Snapper was sick and he needed her at the office. Saying that her goldfish died and she was very torn up about it, saying that she couldn't leave her plants unattended, saying that she was deathly allergic to bars. But when she opens the door, every single one of those scenarios disappear. In fact her mind goes entirely blank except for the repeating phrase ‘oh my god’ and the loud echo of her racing heart.

Lena is wearing a black dress that hugs her figure and stops short a few inches above her knees. It has a low but still conservative neckline and no sleeves. Her hair is tied back in a slick ponytail and the dark smokey makeup around her eyes just makes them look even greener. Lena has always looked good in her business clothes, but right now she looks downright delectable and Kara thinks that maybe she’s short-circuited.

Which is why she doesn’t, at first, notice the way Lena is appraising her. When she finally does, she shifts self-consciously in her dark navy dress. It was something that Alex had forced her to buy a couple years back to go on a blind date that had failed horribly. She’d only worn it a couple times because it’s a little too short and backless for Kara’s usual tastes. But she had figured that if she was going out with _Lena_ she would have to step it up a notch and her usual argyle wouldn’t do the trick.

Now, she’s torn because Lena is looking at her as if she wants to eat her up and that’s good but also very, very bad and how is Kara supposed to get a date if the only thing she can focus on is Lena.

“Well, well, well,” Lena says appreciatively. “You are full of surprises Miss Danvers.”

Kara ducks her head and adjusts her glasses so that she has an excuse to not look at Lena for a second and get her thoughts in order.

“Uh, my sister bought this for me,” Kara says. “Ages ago. Just something I had lying around.”

“Hmmm,” Lena hums lowly, “Well, it should be absolutely no problem at all getting you a date.”

 

* * *

 

They eat a quick dinner at a nice restaurant of Lena’s choosing. If Lena notices that Kara barely touches her food, she doesn’t mention it. Conversation is easy but superficial as Kara tries to direct it away from any topic that might lead to her slipping up. By the time they finish and pay, Kara is already exhausted.

Lena takes Kara to a bar that Kara’s never even heard of, probably because it does _not_ cater to people within her social circles. At all. She worries for a second that she won’t be able to afford the drinks but Lena smiles at her widely and says. “Just tell them to put it on my tab. I’m happy to do this for a friend. It’s not big deal.”

Kara feels bad, but she also knows she won’t be drinking much since she has to keep the facade of sobriety so she just thanks Lena for her generosity.

“So, on a scale from one to ten,” Lena says, once they’ve gotten their drinks and found somewhere somewhat quiet to sit, “how uncomfortable are you?”

Kara freezes with her drink halfway to her mouth.

“Uh, what?”

“I know this isn’t your scene, Kara,” Lena says with a light laugh. “You’re like a baby giraffe in those heels and you keep crossing your arms across your chest. Also, you keep fixing your glasses which you only do when you’re nervous.”

Kara brings her hand down to her lap and blushes.

“I’m sorry. I don’t usually do this.”

“Don’t be _sorry_ , Kara. I figured this would be a little out of your comfort zone, but if you never step out of your comfort zone, nothing will ever change right?”

“I suppose so,” Kara says.

“And don’t worry. I’ll be here the whole time,” Lena says and she reaches over to comfortingly touch Kara’s knee. Or at least Kara thinks it’s supposed to be comforting. Instead, it sends sparks up and down her spine and Kara draws in a shaky breath.

If Kara were Supergirl right now, that hand would be higher up her thigh, potentially even under her dress and Kara would be able to touch Lena back. Maybe she would trace her fingers along Lena’s arm where it sits on the couch. Maybe down from her ear along the sharp lines of her jaw. Maybe along the line of her calf which is close and pale and smooth like marble. Kara feels her fingers twitching.

But, no, she’s in control and Alex was right. There are too many things that could go wrong if she gives in to her urges. And she’s an adult who is perfectly capable of behaving herself. She just needs to find someone else to make out with and hopefully everything will be fine.

Lena insists that instead of walking up to someone at the bar, she and Kara should just sit where they are and wait.

“If you were into girls, it would be different,” Lena says, and Kara doesn’t correct her. “But, for some reason, guys seem to prefer it if you let them do the approaching.”

So, they talk and Lena carries the conversation because she seems to be able to tell that Kara is still a little too uncomfortable to do much other than agree and disagree. But it’s easy to be with Lena. It always has been and soon Kara is loosening up. In almost no time, she and Lena are trading worst date stories, though Lena has many more to spare and Kara can’t tell half of hers right because the reason they failed was because she was an alien.

“So anyway,” Lena says. “I’m sitting there, covered in wine with the waiter apologizing over and over again and my date looks at me and decides that I don’t look as good with my make up running or whatever and she _leaves_. Doesn’t even say anything. Just up and walks away. So _I_ pay for all our drinks and I go home alone and-“

Lena is cut off by the approach of one of the bar staff. He sets down a pair of drinks.

“From the gentlemen over there,” he says and gestures to two guys at the bar, who raise their glasses when Lena waves.

They’re not bad looking overall. But neither can compete in any way with the beauty sitting next to Kara and she doesn’t feel any sort of thrill at their interest in her.

“Well, well, well. That was even sooner than I expected. You should thank your sister for that dress.”

Kara smiles awkwardly. If she ends up having to talk to either of those guys, Kara thinks she might deck her sister instead.

“So, here’s how this is going to play out,” Lena says, picking up the drink and raising it to her lips. “We are going to drink these, slowly, and we’re going to keep glancing over at them. They’ll be watching, don’t worry. Now either they will come over before we’re finished or when we’re done drinking, we will go over to them. You’ll make nice and maybe go home with one of them. They’re not _bad_ looking.”

Kara resists the urge to use her super-hearing when she sees the guys lean closer together to talk under their breaths. She's not sure she  _wants_ to hear what they're saying judging by the curl to their lips.

“Well, come on Kara. Drink up,” Lena says, already half done with her drink, despite saying she’d drink slowly. Kara leans forward and takes a sip of her drink. She nearly spits it out. There’s something wrong. The flavor is a little off and Kara can’t place it but she’s pretty sure what’s going on. There’s something in her drink that does not belong there. She immediately puts her glass back down on the table.

She’s not sure what she should do. After all, she shouldn’t be able to taste it. The flavor is only barely there and only her heightened Kryptonian senses could have picked it up. Also, she’s not sure how she could explain not being affected to Lena. There’s really only one thing she can do. In a show of, for once purposeful, clumsiness, she knocks over Lena’s glass, spilling the contents over the table.

“Oh, gosh, I am so sorry, Lena,” Kara says, hoping that she sounds genuine because she is _not_ sorry.

“It’s okay,” Lena says. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure those nice gentlemen over there will buy us more if we ask nicely.”

That’s the last thing Kara wants, obviously.

“Let’s not go over yet,” Kara says, grabbing onto Lena’s wrist to stop her from getting up. She’s not sure how much Lena drank and how much of the drug, whatever it was, is in her system. And she really doesn’t want Lena anywhere near those guys.

“What?” Lena asks. “Why not?”

“They, uh, they seem sketchy,” Kara says.

“You’re just saying that because you’re nervous,” Lena says.

“No, I’m not. They rub me the wrong way. I don’t know Lena. This all feels wrong.”

Lena smiles at Kara softly.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I don’t know why… It’s something I would do, I guess, if I had feelings for someone else,” Lena said. “Someone I couldn’t afford to have feelings for, I would sleep with the first person I came across.”

Kara flashes back to the first time they’d slept together. Lena had been the one to initiate, not that Kara had discouraged her much. She’d flirted, hard, and Kara had just been drawn in. She wonders if that’s all Supergirl was to Lena. A quick fuck to get over someone else. She wonders who that someone else might be. The thought makes her skin itch unpleasantly and she knows she’s jealous though she has absolutely no right to be. Before she can think of something to say though, the two men at the bar make their way over.

“Hello ladies,” one of them says and his voice dips unpleasantly. Kara just glares at him while Lena shoots her an apologetic glance.

“Hello boys,” Lena says and the way she says it is meant to intimidate and undermine. The men glance at each other and then look back at her.

“We were hoping you might join us for a drink this time.”

“Yeah, as fun as it was to admire you from afar, we’d like to get to know you a little better,” the second guy says.

Kara wants to tell them to piss off. She wants to let them know what it feels like to be punched by a Kryptonian. But instead she stands up, drops some cash on the table to pay for their drinks and grabs Lena’s hand.

“Actually, we were about to head out. But thanks for the offer,” she says through gritted teeth. Lena stands up quickly, and steps close to Kara. The two men do exactly what Kara hoped they wouldn’t.

“Awww come on. Just one drink girls. Stay.”

“We’re really very tired,” Lena says in a placating voice. “Some other time maybe.”

Both men take a somewhat menacing step forward. It’s second nature to Kara to step in front of Lena and put her hands against their chests. She doesn’t push, not really, but she does exert enough pressure to let them know she could do more. They both stop in their tracks.

“We’ll be leaving now,” she says and it’s practically a growl. Neither man says anything as Kara grabs Lena’s hand again and drags her out.

By now, Lena is swaying and Kara _knows_ she hasn’t had enough to drink to acting like this. She slips her hand out of Lena’s grip and snakes it around her waist to hold her steady.

“I must have had a lot to drink,” Lena says, slurring her words. “I feel funny.”

“Come on,” Kara says gently, “I’ll take you to my place and we can sober up.”

Lena follows Kara obediently though her eyes start to haze over once they’re in the cab. By the time they’re at Kara’s apartment, she practically has to carry Lena up the stairs. She sits Lena, who is staring around Kara’s apartment in something akin to wide-eyed wonder, down on the couch and then calls Alex.

“Okay, so remember how I went out with Lena tonight?” Kara asks as soon as Alex picks up.

“Yeah,” Alex says and Kara can tell that she’s already on the alert. She’s probably already grabbing the keys to her motorcycle in case Kara needs her. As always, it makes Kara feel warm to know her sister cares so much.

“Well, I think some guy roofied her. I mean, technically both of us. Our drinks tasted a little weird? But obviously it didn’t affect me. Should I worry?” Kara asks.

“Is she throwing up?” Alex asks.

“Uh, no,” Kara says, glancing over at Lena who is currently giggling as she smells all of Kara’s candles. “She’s just kind of loopy.”

“How much did she have to drink?”

“Not much. Like a drink and a half.”

“Then just let her sleep it off honestly. She’ll be fine, though she won’t enjoy tomorrow morning and she probably won’t remember a lot of tonight. Make sure she drinks a lot of water as well. It’ll help get the stuff out of her system.”

Kara sighs.

“Okay, thanks Alex.”

“You bet, lil’ sis. Uh, if you want to give me descriptions of the guy, I can pass it on to the cops,” Alex says.

“Yeah, sure. But not now, I gotta deal with…”

“Yeah, call me if you need anything else. And I’ll stop by in the morning.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Alex hangs up and Kara stares at her phone for a few minutes before turning to Lena, who has started to build a sort of pyramid with Kara’s candles that is precariously close to toppling over.

“Uh, hey, Lena,” Kara says gently and she grabs the candles, putting them back where they were before something bad happens.

“Kara!” Lena says, brightly and she grins up at her. It’s such a different expression from Lena’s usually tight smiles that it catches Kara by surprise. It’s dumb and ridiculous but Kara’s heart stutters to see Lena so open. Lena throws her arms around Kara’s shoulders and pulls her into into a tight hug. Kara lets it happen without protest.

“You know, you’re stronger than you look,” Lena says softly in Kara’s ear and it’s dangerous how it makes Kara shiver.

“I work out,” she says, the age old answer to the common question coming to her lips without her having to think about it.

“Hmmmm, that’s good. Gotta be healthy,” Lena says. Her eyes are really starting to droop and her words are so slurred it’s hard to figure out where one starts and the other ends.

“Come on, Lena,” Kara says, straightening up and dragging Lena, who is still wrapped around her neck, with her.

It’s surprisingly easy to get Lena to drink the glass of water. She seems content to do just about anything Kara asks of her right now.Lena babbles in between sips, much more talkative than usual, but it’s clear that whatever she’s saying is mostly just train of thought because Kara can’t follow it at all. When she’s done drinking, Kara gently places the glass in the sink and leads Lena to her bedroom.

“Here, change into these,” she says, handing Lena a t-shirt and a pair of sweats.

She turns away to give Lena some privacy and hears her shuffling for a bit and then a creak and soft thud as Lena sits down on the bed. Kara turns, assuming Lena’s done changing, and nearly passes out at the sight in front of her. Lena had only gotten about halfway through getting changed, and instead of being fully clothed , she’s sprawled across the bed wearing only her underwear and bra.

The large expanses of white, porcelain skin give Kara flashbacks to what she wants to forget most and her fingers itch to touch. But she ignores it because even if Kara hadn't promised Alex that she wouldn’t sleep with her again, Lena is practically unconscious and entirely unable to consent. Instead, she pokes and prods Lena gently until she's able to get her under the covers.

“I’ll be out on the couch if you need anything,” she whispers. Lena hums in response but Kara isn’t sure if she actually hears her or if she’s just responding to the sound of her voice. Gently, she brushes some stray hairs out of Lena’s face and then, grabbing a spare blanket, makes her way to the couch.

It’s nearly impossible for her to sleep as she thinks about Lena lying in her bed in the other room. She groans slightly when she realizes how much she wants to be in bed with her. Not to have sex with her, because Lena had been _roofied_. But just so that she could wrap her arms around her and feel the rise an fall of her chest and breathe in her the smell of her perfume. And, shit, Kara is in deep already.

Kara reaches out with her super-hearing until she’s focused on Lena’s breathing and heartbeat. They’re both slow and steady and so, so comforting. Slowly, as Kara matches her own heartbeat and breathing to Lena’s she’s finally able to drift off.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The sun wakes Kara at around eight. She sighs happily into the warm and pleasant feeling that comes with Earth’s yellow sun. Alex used to make fun of her for being like a lizard or a cat because she would find the brightest patch of sunlight in her apartment, usually her bed or this couch to curl up in and just recharge. Sleeping is necessary and feels nice, but nothing makes her feel better or more well-rested than a good hour lying in the sun. 

It’s only when Lena’s heartbeat speeds up that Kara realizes that she’s still sub-consciously attuned to it. She hears Lena shifting in the bed, and the gradual acceleration of her heartbeat as she drags herself more and more into consciousness. Kara pinpoints the moment Lena realizes where she is, because she gasps a little and her heartbeat spikes. Kara wonders if she should go in and soothe her, but she realizes quickly that without her superpowers she should have had no way of knowing she was awake. 

She listens to the sounds of sheets rustling and then to what sounds like cotton sliding over skin as if Lena is putting clothes on. Kara waits patiently for Lena to stumble out of bed and into the living room. The other’s woman’s hair is a mess and her eyes are bloodshot and a little unfocused until they zero in on Kara sitting on the couch.  

“Kara,” she says softly. “I… uh, what happened? I don’t remember leaving the bar. God, did I drink that much?”

“Uh, no. You were, uh, roofied, I think. One of the drinks the guys sent over.”

Lena groans and shakes her head. 

“I’m so sorry, Kara. I dragged you there and you didn’t want to go and…”

“Woah, Lena,” Kara says, standing up quickly. “Are you apologizing for being roofied? Because you know that’s not your fault. And I had fun with you last night.”

“I didn’t do anything too embarrassing last night, did I? I noticed that I wasn’t wearing many clothes when I woke up. I didn’t try to… I don’t know seduce you or anything?”

Kara lets out a little choked sound of surprise. 

“I… no, of course not. No, definitely did not try to do that. You were mostly just… giggly? You babbled a lot about stuff. And I gave you sweatpants and a t-shirt, which you found obviously. But you fell asleep before you put them on and I didn’t want to wake you up.” 

“Oh, good,” Lena says with a strange lilt to her voice. “I should probably—“

Lena is interrupted by a sharp knocking on the door. She looks at Kara in surprise. 

“It’s probably my sister,” Kara says. “I… I wasn’t sure what to do last night and I called her because she is a doctor. She said she’d stop by this morning.”

“Kara!! Wake up and let me in!”

“Coming, coming,” Kara mumbles under her breath as she stalks over to swing the door open. 

Alex is standing on the other side with a box full of donuts and an unamused expression on her face. 

“Is Lena still here?” she asks, as she steps into the apartment. It’s a pointless question as she catches sight of Lena standing in the middle of the apartment, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired. And I have a headache. But overall okay,” Lena says. 

“Okay, well drink lots of water today and you’ll be fine. Also maybe don’t take my sister out to sketchy bars if you can help it.”

Lena flinches at the hard edge to Alex’s voice.

“Alex!” Kara scolds. 

“What? I’m just saying.”

“Yeah, well. I’m fine. So be nice or I won’t share those donuts with you.”

“I’m always nice,” Alex mutters under her breath. 

“I should probably be on my way home,” Lena says quietly. 

“See, look, you scared her away,” Kara scolds Alex. “Please don’t leave. If I kick Alex out, will you stay?”

“Hey!”

Lena chuckles. 

“No, don’t do that. I really should be going home. I need to shower and get some work done.”

Kara pouts a little but doesn’t put a fight. Lena goes back to Kara’s room to change back into her dress and go to the bathroom and make herself look a little more presentable. As soon as she's out of earshot, Alex corners Kara in her kitchen. 

“Did you sleep with her?”

“No! Alex, geez. She was practically unconscious when we got back. What do you take me for?”

“I’m just worried about you baby sis. I’d never actually seen you two together. I’ve never seen the way you look at her.”

“The way I… what? No, Alex. What are you talking about?” Kara babbles. 

“You’re in love with her,” Alex says gently. “Like full on, 100%. You look at her like you used to look at James.”

“Psshhhh, no,” Kara says, though she knows even as she says it, it’s not believable. “I mean, James was… so attractive and so is Lena. I’m just, very attracted to her. Which is normal. Because she’s very pretty and nice-looking. And who wouldn’t want to…”

“Right, sure okay,” Alex says. “If it makes you feel better, she looks at you the same way.”

“What? No, now I know you’re crazy. I mean, why would she... I’m just… And she’s wonderful and smart and gorgeous.”

“Who’s gorgeous?” Lena asks, appearing from Kara’s room. 

“Uh… the, um, the president,” Kara blurts out and ignores the disbelieving look on Alex’s face. 

“The president?” Lena asks, surprised. 

“I, um, yeah. And by gorgeous I meant, her personality. Her personality is gorgeous. Definitely, that was what I meant.”

Lena simply regards Kara with a raised eyebrow before shaking her head. 

“Okay, well. Thank you for taking care of me last night.”

“It was no bother,” Kara says. 

“Well, we should hang out again sometime. Maybe not at a bar.”

“Of course,” Kara says quickly. “I’d love to.”

Kara escorts Lena down to the curb where her driver is already waiting. She nearly kisses Lena on the cheek but turns it into a hug before she can get herself in trouble. When she gets back up to her apartment, Alex is leaning against the counter with a smug look on her face. 

“She totally has feelings for you,” Alex says. 

“What does it matter?” Kara snaps. “Weren’t you the one to tell me that we could never happen? Because I slept with her as Supergirl and ruined everything. Because we can’t trust her with my secret. 

“I…” Alex says and then shakes her head and moves to sit on the couch, dragging Kara with her. “That was before I noticed how much you like her. And before I knew how much she felt the same. I thought it was just a… I don’t know, friends with benefits thing that would go wrong eventually. And I still don’t trust her, but honestly, I don’t really trust anyone when it comes to you.”

“So, now you’re saying that I should date her?”

“I’m saying it’s up to you. I’m not encouraging it because there’s a lot that could go wrong honestly, but I don’t ever want to be the person that stops you from being happy. And it seems like she could make you happy.”

Kara nods, biting her lip as she considers it. She hadn’t really, up till this point, let herself think about actually dating Lena. It had seemed like such a foreign concept. Supergirl was a hero. She could sleep with Lena but Kara was just Kara. She didn’t have anything going for her. No reason Lena should see her as anything other than a friend.

“There’s no way,” Kara says, looking at her hands as she wrings them in her lap. “Lena doesn’t have feelings for me. You’re wrong.”

“Kara, I could see it. She wasn’t subtle.”

“No, Alex. I can see it. I can see the way she looks at Supergirl and the way she looks at me. They’re totally different. She wants Supergirl. And I’m just her dorky reporter friend.”

Alex doesn’t say anything. She just looks at Kara in the quiet reproving way that lets Kara know that she thinks she’s wrong but she’s not going to fight about it. Kara desperately wants to believe her, wants to believe that Lena could fall for her but she knows better. It’s always the superhero that gets the girl. Not the nerdy reporter.

 

* * *

 

This time, for real, Supergirl stays away from Lena Luthor. She hears about Lena receiving threatening letters and passes the information on to the DEO and forces herself to forget about it. When they find out who the source of the letters are, she lets the strike team handle it. She makes sure that her circuit of the city each night doesn’t place her near L-Corp or Lena’s apartment. She doesn’t need the extra temptation in her life. 

In the meantime, Kara Danvers is seeing more and more of Lena. After the night Lena spent at her apartment, a line was crossed. They still have their lunch dates but they have movie nights too, where Lena comes over in jeans and a very soft t-shirt and curls up on Kara’s couch. They go out together on weekends, to the zoo, the aquarium, and every art museum Kara can think of. 

Lena is always the one who suggests they hang out, but it’s always Kara who ends up dragging her along on some adventure. After a while, Kara starts to feel bad that they always end up doing what she wants to do.  

“It’s okay Kara,” Lena says. “Honestly, I always have fun.”

"Yeah, but we should do what you want to do sometimes,” Kara says and for some reason Lena blushes. Kara tries to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. 

“I don’t really know what I want to do,” Lena says. “I mean, I never really thought about it.”

“What do you usually do with friends?”

Lena looks at Kara with a furrowed brow and a heavy sadness in her eyes. 

“I’ve never really had that many friends before. And we usually went to clubs to hang out, if it could even be called that, because they’d always abandon me to dance with other people.”

“Well, there’s gotta be something you want to do,” Kara says. 

“I’m happy to just spend the day with you,” Lena says and Kara feels her heart flutter.

She squashes the feeling before it can become anything. In all the time they’ve spent together, Lena hasn’t made a single indication that she wants anything more. She’s happy being friends and Kara is (mostly) happy to keep it that way. She’s not looking to ruin their friendship by admitting that she has feelings for her best friend, no matter what Alex says. So she lets it lie. 

Which is, of course, when everything goes wrong. 

 

* * *

 

 

There’s a bombing at L-Corp. It’s been a month since Supergirl was last anywhere near Lena Luthor but Kara doesn’t hesitate to fly over as soon as she hears the explosion. Crowds have already gathered, gaping open-mouthed and ignoring the cops telling them to back up. Kara scans the building with her x-ray vision desperately. It’s a Sunday so she’s not surprised to find it empty, but if Kara knows anything about Lena Luthor, it’s that weekends mean very little to her. 

She doesn’t get very far in her scanning though before she hears a series of gunshots followed immediately by the most excruciating pain she’s ever felt. For a second, she blacks out and wakes up just in time to feel herself smash into the pavement. She knows what’s happening as she’s hit by waves of nausea and vertigo. She’s been in the presence of enough kryptonite to know the feeling and she doesn’t like it. 

She vaguely hears shouts of 'Supergirl' echoing around her but she can’t bring herself to open her eyes to see. It hurts. Everything hurts. She tries to take stock of her injuries. A bullet in her thigh, she’s pretty sure, another between her ribs, one in her abdomen, probably more. But it hurts everywhere and it’s too hard to pin point the source. There’s more shouting and more gunshots and Kara feels herself slip away. 

She wakes up twice before she’s fully dragged to consciousness. The first time, it’s to the feeling of something digging into the already aching holes in her body. She thinks she screams but it’s hard to tell because she can’t hear right. The pain subsides after a while and the nausea and vertigo go with it. Kara realizes that the bullets have been pulled out of her body and she tries to thank whoever helped her but she’s unconscious again before she can. 

The second time, it’s to the sounds of shouting. She opens her eyes a little and can see two very blurry figures. One she recognizes as Alex, because she would recognize Alex anywhere. The other is half obscured by the doorframe but Kara knows the voice. She tries to sit, but none of her muscles will listen so she gives up and lets sleep claim her again.  

When she wakes up for real, there’s no mistaking why. She’s sore all over and there are parts of her that feel bruised beyond repair, but none of those compare to the gnawing, almost primal, ache in her stomach. She’s hungry. She sits up slowly and opens her mouth to say something, she’s not quite sure what, but it doesn’t matter because she can’t make a sound. Her throat is so raw that just trying to speak feels the way nails scratching on a whiteboard sounds. She cringes. 

She swings her legs over the side of the bed, taking stock of where it hurts. Her thigh, she notices is wrapped in what was once a white bandage but is now spotted with the dark rust of dried blood. The top half of her suit has been removed, leaving her in a sports bra and a bandage wrapped around her abdomen. There’s another large bandage wrapped around her left forearm and various smaller bandages, probably covering up a variety of cuts. 

She wonders how long she’s been out, how long she’s been resting under the sun lamps, how many of her injuries have healed. She doesn’t have to wonder for long because, suddenly Alex is crashing through the door. It’s only when Alex has her arms wrapped around her that Kara realizes that she couldn’t hear her coming. 

“Don’t get up,” Alex says, as soon as she releases her and she pushes her gently back until she’s lying again. Kara follows her instructions because sitting up was starting to make her dizzy. 

“Thirsty,” she croaks past the pain in her throat and she absently wonders if her vocal chords can bleed. Alex pours her a glass of water and hands it to her. 

“Drink slowly,” she says and Kara tries to obey but she’s parched and she empties the glass before she knows it. 

“More please,” she says and her throat still hurts but its better now that it’s wet and the coolness of the water had been soothing. 

Alex fills up her glass. 

“How long was I out?” Kara asks, once she’s finished that one as well. “Actually, what happened?”

“The bomb at L-Corp was a trap. Don’t worry, the building was empty and no one was hurt. It was Cadmus, we think, or what’s left of them now that Lillian’s locked up, though they haven’t yet taken credit and we can’t trace it back to them. They hit you with a ton of kryptonite. We don’t know how they got their hands on that much of it, but it’s clear that they were trying to kill you, not kidnap you again. They… they almost did." 

Kara starts to see cracks in Alex’s usually steady expression. She reaches forward to grab Alex’s hand. Alex’s grip on her is hard and bruising and Kara knows immediately that her powers are gone because it hurts a little but there’s no way she’s going to complain. Not when Alex is just trying to remind herself that Kara is there, and alive. 

“Your heart stopped,” Alex says, her voice a whisper and cracking with each word as she tries to hold back tears. “Your heart actually stopped for a second. I-I was so scared." 

Alex is full-on crying now and Kara ignores her aching ribs to sit up and pull her sister into her arms. She lets Alex sob into her shoulder until she’s calm again. 

“How long have I been out?” she asks when Alex draws back to wipe her tears on her sleeve. 

“A week. It’s Sunday today. 4:15 pm.”

“Rao,” Kara says and she buries her face in her palms. “Snapper is going to kill me.”

“James covered for you already. He said that you’re in the hospital with mono. Snapper said he hopes you’re better soon and that as soon as you are better, you should report to his office.”

Kara looks at Alex skeptically. 

“That sounds… unreasonably nice. Are you sure it’s Snapper we’re talking about?”

Alex shrugs. 

“That’s what James told me.”

“And the city hasn’t fallen down while I was asleep?" 

“Nope! Guardian has been doing good work with the petty criminals and the DEO’s covered the rest. Honestly, it’s been kind of quiet since the bombing.”

Kara nods and looks at her hands. She tries to wrap her head around losing a whole week. She’s never been unconscious for that long before and it’s very disorienting. 

“You know, there is someone who seems to have missed you though,” Alex says, attempting nonchalance but she’s watching Kara’s expression too closely for Kara to fall for it. “Lena has sent you no less than thirty-two texts, called you ten times and has sent five emails to your work account.”

Kara’s jaw drops. 

“She’s worried about you, I think. I didn’t actually read her messages, so I don’t actually know what she said, but I’d bet that she’s wondering where you are.”

Kara is too tired, too dizzy, and too hungry to properly process that information. 

“I’ll deal with that….later. I’m really hungry. I haven’t eaten in a week. Also, I think I don’t have my powers.”

“You don’t,” Alex says standing up. “They were all used up while healing you. It took quite a bit of energy to close up the _fifteen_ kryptonite bullet holes and purge your system of the kryptonite itself. There’s still bruising that’s healing at a human rate, but other than that you’re all good, I think. We can get those bandages off of you and shower whenever you feel good to stand." 

“I just want to eat right now,” Kara says as her stomach cramps angrily at the thought of food.

“I’ll bring you something. Just wait here for a sec,” Alex says as she makes her way to the door. She pauses with her hand on the doorknob and turns back. “I’m glad you’re okay, Kara.”

Kara smiles at her and nods. 

“Me too.”

 

* * *

 

 

She eats her weight in stir fry before she realizes that her human body isn’t quite able to stomach that much, especially after not having eaten anything in a week. She throws half of it back up but feels much better regardless. Once she showers and brushes her teeth, she almost feels like a real person again. She changes into a pair of DEO issue sweatpants and a t-shirt, both pitch black, and pads into the control room where she’s tackled by a very relieved Winn. 

Mon-El hugs her next and it’s clear that someone told him she didn’t have her powers because he is exceedingly careful not to hug too tight. 

“I’m glad you’re okay. Winn was getting annoying with all his worrying.”

He says it like a joke but his tone is too gentle and his eyes are too soft for Kara to take it like one. She smiles at him. 

“Me too,” she says.  

Her next stop is J’onn, who gathers her up into his arms the moment she’s close enough. 

“Don’t ever do that again,” he whispers and Kara remembers her father whispering those words in the same tone when she nearly fell out of one of the travel pods back on Krypton and her eyes well up with tears. It strikes her that without her own father and with Jeremiah still in Cadmus’s hands, J’onn is the closest thing she has to a father. She hugs him a little more tightly. 

“Take it easy now, Supergirl,” he says, “Don’t push it to get your powers back. Let it happen on your own time. And don’t think that you’re going back to work until at least Wednesday. You’re staying in the DEO until tomorrow for monitoring and so you can spend more time under the sun lamps. If there’s anything you need from your apartment before then, Agent Danvers can pick it up for you. 

His tone dances the line between commanding and soft and finds herself nodding in agreement without even meaning to. She wants to go back to her apartment right now, but J’onn is probably right. 

“Okay, go back to the med bay now and rest a little,” J’onn says and this time, it’s an order. A direct one that has Kara itching to argue with, but she doesn’t because she knows she scared J’onn and Alex and everyone else and, at least for the next few days, she’s going to do everything she can to appease them. 

On her way back to the med bay, she finds Alex and gets her phone from her. 

“I won’t want to sleep for a bit,” she tells Alex. “You should come hang out when you’re not busy.”

Alex nods and squeezes Kara’s hand before turning back to whatever sample she’d been analyzing. 

Kara gets back to the med bay to find that the sheets on her bed have been changed and there’s some yogurt and fruit sitting on the bedside table for whenever she gets hungry again. Kara pulls off the sweatpants and shirt until she’s just in her underclothes so that she can get maximum exposure from the sun lamps and tries to relax. She knows that no one will walk in other than Alex, but she still feels weird. 

She turns up the brightness on her phone all the way because the glare from the sunlamps make it hard to see. She has a few missed calls from Eliza and she figures she should call her back soon, now that she’s awake. There’s a few from Snapper as well, but nothing urgent.

Then she sees all the missed calls from Lena, as well as six voicemails. She wonders if she should listen to those first or read the text messages. After pondering for longer than strictly necessary, she decides that she’s probably not quite ready to hear her voice and goes to the text messages instead. 

_Hey Kara. Would you like to grab lunch?_

_Kara?_

_Okay, you’re probably busy. How about dinner then? If you’re free._

_There’s this wonderful new sushi places opening downtown. I’m sure they have potstickers or something similar at least._

_It’s really nice._

_Kara?_

_Did I do something to upset you?_

_I’m really sorry for whatever it was._

_Kara. I’m worried. Why aren’t you answering your messages?_

_You’d tell me if I’d done something right?_

_And you’d tell me if you weren’t okay, right?_

There are more, and as Kara continues to read, they start to break her heart. After the twentieth message it becomes clear that Lena doesn’t think that she’s reading them at all anymore because they become more and more self-deprecating. 

_I figured this would happen, you know?_

_I mean, you’ve always been so bright and so good and I’m just… me._

_I thought you’d be a little nicer about it when you finally left though._

_I don’t think you’ve ever not been nice._

_Or mabe u r dead. I should problaly call ur sister to find out if ur alrigt but im not sur I could take it if you;re ok and are just ignoring me._

_That might hurt too much._

The messages become less and less coherent until they’re nigh undecipherable. Kara checks the time stamps to see that the bad ones are all mostly from Friday night. She’s confused until she listens to the voicemails. In the first few Lena is chipper and her voice is bright as she checks in. They become a little more frantic and worried and in the last three, Lena is drunk. 

It’s hard to understand exactly what she’s saying at some parts because her words run together and they’re punctuated by half sobs as Lena does her best not to fall apart completely. But Kara gets the gist of the messages. Lena thinks Kara abandoned her, because she’s a Luthor, because she’s not good enough, because of the alien detection device, because she just got bored. A thousand and one reasons that Kara never even considered, never thought Lena could ever consider. She listens and feels her heart breaking with every word. She is in tears by the time the last one ends with the words, “Don’t worry Kara. I won’t bother you ever again.”

Kara gets up, ignoring the wave of dizziness that hits her as she moves too quickly. She finds a set of spare clothes in one of the DEO lockers and is out of the DEO before she knows what she’s doing. It hits her the moment she’s outside that she can’t fly to Lena’s so she desperately looks up bus schedules on her phone and gets on the first one that is going even vaguely in the direction of L-Corp. 

It takes her half an hour to get there and she’s fidgety and nervous the whole time. The thought of Lena going even one more second thinking that Kara hates her or is dead makes her stick to her stomach. 

The sun is just setting when Kara blows into Lena’s office to find the other woman working at her desk, brow furrowed in concentration. She jumps as the doors slam open but when her eyes focus on Kara she drops her pen and just gapes. 

It’s only then that Kara realizes how she must look. The dress she is wearing is sleeveless and short enough to show all of her calves and some of her thighs. She has fading scars and bruises littering every visible expanse of skin. There are dark circles under her eyes and she’d only half-heartedly brushed her hair after she’d showered. She must look a mess. 

“Kara,” Lena says, a little chocked up. “What-“

“I got your messages. All of them,” Kara says and she ignores the way Lena flinches in favor of walking around her desk and pulling her up into a hug. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? You’re sorry?” Lena says incredulously. “You’re hurt! What happened?”

Kara falters at that. The mono excuse won’t explain the bruises or why she’d been unconscious and unable to answer a simple text message. 

“I was, uh, I was hit by something. And I was being treated at a, um, private facility? And I’ve been unconscious. But I woke up today and I saw your messages and I had to come to tell you that I’m okay and that I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Lena says, pulling away to examine Kara more closely. Her eyes trace the bruises along Kara’s legs, they pause at the really dark one that sticks out of the hem of her dress where Kara got shot. She gently brings a finger up to dance along the bruises on her forearms and the one on Kara’s cheek. 

“Should you be up?” she asks softly. “I mean, you should probably still be resting.”

“No,” Kara says, grabbing Lena’s hand and holding it tight. “I had to see you. I didn’t want you to think that…”

Lena flushes and ducks her head. 

“I’m sorry about all of that. I didn’t mean to be clingy. I was just worried and —“ 

“I want you to be clingy,” Kara says. “I like that you care about me and I want to know what you’re thinking. Always. Next time I’ll have Alex call you so you know.”

“Is there going to be a next time?” Lena asks, concern coloring her tone. 

“No, of course not,” Kara says, catching her mistake. 

Of course, it’s not a promise she can actually make. She’s going to be hurt again. She knows that. Her job as Supergirl isn’t exactly a walk in the park. But hopefully she won’t be unconscious for a whole week again. 

Lena doesn’t say anything, she just bites her lower lips and keeps staring at Kara as if she might fall apart in front of her. 

“I really am okay,” Kara says. “I promise. The bruises will fade and I’ll be fine.”

Lena sighs and steps forward so that she can hug Kara again, burying her face into Kara’s neck. 

“I don’t think I could take it if you were ever hurt again,” Lena says softly. “I care about you too much for that.”

Kara hopes Lena doesn’t hear the way her breath catches in her throat and her heartbeat speeds up. It’s unfair that she can say things like that as if it doesn’t mean anything. Kara tightens her arms around Lena’s shoulders, relishing in the fact that she doesn’t have to worry about breaking her, can’t break her. They just stand there wrapped up in each other, until Kara’s phone rings in her pocket. 

Kara flinches. She knows who’s calling without having to look at the screen. Lena pulls back and catches Kara’s expression. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Uh, I didn’t tell Alex that I was leaving and I’m supposed to still be in bed. Just give me a second to-“

Lena steps away as Kara pulls the phone up to her ear. 

“Hello?”

Alex starts yelling immediately, loud enough that even Kara’s human ears can mostly hear what she’s saying even when she pulls her phone away from her ear. Lena tries to hide her chuckles behind her palm but isn’t successful and Kara shoots her a reproachful look. 

“Yes, yes. I’ll go right back. I promise,” Kara says when Alex has calmed down enough to listen. 

“Where are you anyway?” Alex asks. 

“Uh…” Kara considers saying ‘nowhere’ and avoiding the question entirely but Alex could track her phone in a second and she’ll drag an answer out of Kara eventually anyway. “I’m at L-Corp.”

“Really,” Alex dead-pans. “Well, don’t get too distracted by how pretty Lena is and hurry back. I want you under the sun-lamps for at least twelve more hours before you go home. You can see your not-girlfriend some other time.”

Kara fidgets and blushes as she reassures Alex that she will be back soon. 

“Um, I have to go before my sister sends a strike team after me,” Kara mumbles. 

Lena just seems amused. 

“I understand,” she says. “But, if you’re allowed to leave, would you like to have lunch with me tomorrow?” 

“I would like nothing more.”

 

* * *

 

After a night under the sun lamps, Kara is practically buzzing with energy. Even though she’s essentially human the sun lamps still do enough to make her feel ready to take on the world. She wants to go back to work. She begs Alex to let her but Alex is firm and she threatens to literally tie Kara down to her couch before Kara concedes. She decides not to mention her lunch date with Lena. 

Alex leaves after extracting a promise from Kara for updates if anything changes. Kara flips through TV channels for a while but she’s bored and restless. So instead she goes to her room and sorts through outfits, trying to find the perfect one for her lunch with Lena. It’s harder than she thought it would be to find one that covers most of her bruises so people on the street won’t be concerned. She thinks she looks cuter in dresses but eventually settles on a pair of slacks, and a nice patterned shirt. 

She messes with her hair, doing one of those intricate braids she loves but never has the time to properly do. She even puts on a little makeup, more than just her usual lip gloss, though she tries to keep it natural. She doesn’t want to look like she’s overdoing it. After all, it’s not like this is a date though Kara might wish it were. 

By the time she has to leave her apartment, she looks as pretty as she thinks can be considering the bruise on her cheek has only somewhat faded and the loss of her powers means that there’s a slightly pallid tint to her skin. 

She and Lena had agreed over text to meet at a cute cafe just down the road from Lena’s office. Kara arrives a little late since she’d forgotten how to manage time when she can’t just fly everywhere. Lena is already sitting at a table intently reading an article. Kara takes a moment to just watch her. She follows the sharp line of her jaw, the red lines of her lips, the elegant curves of her eyebrows as they scrunch in concentration. Her hair is down, straightened, like the first time Kara met her and she’s a vision. 

Kara isn’t quite sure how long she spends just staring at her before Lena looks up and sees her. Her eyes immediately crinkle at the edges as she smiles. Kara’s heart flutters because this is how Lena reacts to seeing her. And she knows that Lena cares about her, especially after all the texts and calls over the last week. But it’s nice to see it reflected so brightly in her expression. 

She sits and they order their food and it’s easy to fall into old habits. Kara listens as Lena talks about her week, filling Kara in on anything she missed. Lena frets over Kara making sure that Kara’s getting enough sleep and tending to her injuries properly. Kara assures her over and over that she’s fine and not to worry but the little crease between Lena’s eyebrows doesn’t fade until the conversation move on to different topics. Unfortunately one of those topics happens to be Supergirl. Lena broaches it hesitantly, worrying at her lower lip.

“I know you just woke up, but have you heard anything about Supergirl?” Lena asks. “It’s just, there was that bombing at L-Corp and they hit her with something and she was pulled into a black van by these people and no one’s heard for her since. Some people are starting to think she’s gone for good.”

Lena is worried. It’s easy to tell from her tone and an irrational swell of jealousy suddenly makes it hard for Kara to breathe. It’s ridiculous. She shouldn’t be envious of herself. Alex would be laughing at her right now. But she can’t help but think that maybe if Supergirl weren’t in the picture then maybe Kara Danvers would have more of a chance. 

“I haven’t heard anything from her,” Kara says. “I know that the people she works with wouldn’t let her go without a fight though so I’m sure they’ll take care of her.”

Lena nods. She looks sad and Kara can’t help but wonder what she looked like when she thought Kara was missing. Did she look as worried? Did she care as much? After a brief silence, they move on to safer waters, setting up a dinner date for later in the week but Kara can’t quite get rid of the uncomfortable tightness in her chest. 

 

* * *

 

 

Snapper treats Kara gently when she comes back to work and it pisses her off. He doesn’t give her an assignment and instead has her copy editing articles to go to print. Kara practically begs for an assignment but he tells her that until he’s sure she up to it, he won’t give her anything. Kara copy edits harder than she ever has in her entire life and hopes that it’s enough. 

On the bright side, she starts to feel her powers come back. It’s slow but she can hear a little better and her step is a little lighter and her bruises start to fade much more quickly. By Friday they’re completely gone and she feels like she’s nearly at full power. 

Alex won’t tell Kara about any alien threats around town but she does direct her to a few car chases and bank robberies so that she can do something. It feels good to be moving again, like scratching an itch she couldn’t reach and she flies home in a brilliant mood. 

She’s halfway through a box of pizza when that mood is ruined. She gets a phone call from Lena and she answers it happily. 

“Hey! What’s up?”

“Kara, can I ask you a huge favor?”

“Sure, of course.”

“I know you don’t like to use your connection to Supergirl casually but I was wondering if you could help me get in contact with her again.”

Kara feels her heart stop in her chest. She doesn’t know how to say no to Lena without hurting her feelings. There’s no real reason Kara Danvers shouldn’t want Lena to meet Supergirl and she knows that any excuse she makes up will sound weak. But it’s a terrible idea for Supergirl to see Lena. Alex would kill her if she knew that Kara is even considering saying yes. She’d kill her twice if Kara does actually say yes. 

“Kara?” Lena prompts.

“Yeah, sorry. Um, I can pass the message along I guess,” she says and Lena’s little sigh of relief is like a knife to Kara’s gut. 

“Okay, thank you so much Kara. We’re still on to go see Hidden Figures tomorrow right?”

“Uh, yeah, yes, definitely. I will see you tomorrow.”

Kara hangs up and drops her head back and rolls her eyes at herself. It’s really her own fault that she’s in this situation, that she’s competing with herself for the affections of the woman she likes. She wonders how many people have had to do that before and wonders if any of them would be willing to give her advice. 

She changes into her suit and after a brief hesitation flies to L-Corp. Lena is sitting on her couch, phone in one hand and glass of wine in the other with her legs tucked underneath her. Kara squares her jaw, puts her hands on her hips and does her best to project authority and coolness. She’s here on business. Nothing else. 

She comes in through the balcony window and waits until Lena looks up at her. She tries not to compare the way Lena smiles now to the way she did earlier with Kara. 

“You wanted to see me, Miss Luthor?” Kara says. 

“Yes,” Lena says. “I was worried. You disappeared. Decided to take a vacation?”

“No, Miss Luthor,” Kara says. “Something happened. It’s been handled.”

Lena nods and gets up slowly from the couch. She walks towards Kara in a way that can only be called predatory and Kara is at war with herself. Every rational thought in her brain is telling her to step away but every instinct she has is telling her to step forward and kiss her hard. She wants this badly. The more time they spend together, the less she feels like Kara Danvers might have a chance, and while Supergirl can’t have a relationship with Lena, she can at least kiss her. 

So Kara stands frozen until Lena is right in front of her, reaching forward to cup her cheek. 

“I missed you Supergirl,” she whispers and she’s about to press her lips to Kara’s. But hearing 'Supergirl' off of Lena’s lips when all she wants to hear is 'Kara' is enough to snap her out of her lust-induced haze. She places her hand gently on Lena’s shoulder to push her back.  

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I can’t do this.”

“What?” Lena says, disappointment flashing across her face. “Did I do something?”

“No,” Kara says, because she doesn’t want Lena to think this is her fault. Her voicemail messages the past weekend had been enough to show how many insecurities she had and Kara doesn’t want her to think that she’s cutting this off because Lena is a Luthor or because she’s anything less than wonderful and amazing. “I can’t… I’m not really a person, Lena. Supergirl isn’t my name and I don’t always wear this cape.”

“I thought that was why,” Lena says. “That’s why we do this. Because it was okay that I didn’t know your name. Because you just needed someone.”

“No. I mean, I did need someone and you were there, but I… that’s not why I …”

“Supergirl, what are you trying to say?”

“It was fun, but I want more. Um, not necessarily from you, though if you want I’d… It’s just I can’t keep lying to you,” Kara says and immediately bites her cheek because she did not mean to say that last bit. She really shouldn’t have said that.

“Lying to me about what?”

Kara takes a step back so that Lena isn’t in her space anymore and she can think a little bit. This is a saddle point. She knows it is, can feel it in her bones. Either she tells Lena the truth now or she gives up on any notion of ever telling Lena she’s Supergirl. Lena watches her with lips parted in confusion and a little bit of hurt. And Kara just wants to kiss her, more than anything else. 

“About who I really am,” Kara says. 

“I don’t want to know who you really are,” Lena says as if it’s obvious. 

“I know that,” Kara says. “I know you don’t, but I can’t keep doing this if I’m lying to you.”

Lena stares at Kara for a long time, enough that Kara fidgets under her intense gaze, feeling absolutely nothing like the superhero she’s supposed to be. 

“You have feelings for me,” Lena says casually, as if she’s mentioning that it’s raining outside. 

Kara feels something crawling up her throat, making it hard to speak, hard to breathe even. This isn’t what she wanted. She wanted to tell Lena about her feelings while she was Kara. She wanted something other than this nonchalance. Even Lena getting angry at her would be better than this. Of course, Kara had known that Supergirl was just a means to an end, a distraction, convenient and replaceable. But she’d thought, or maybe hoped, that she could make Lena feel something. 

“If you don’t want to do this anymore, all you have to do is tell me and I won’t bother you again,” Lena says and Kara desperately wishes she could hear some sort of disappointment or sadness in her voice. But it seems that Lena isn’t at all bothered. At the end of the day, this had just been a fun distraction for her.

“There’s someone else, isn’t there?” Kara asks. 

She doesn’t actually want to know the answer, but she wants to know if Kara might have a chance even if Supergirl never could. 

“What’s it to you?” Lena asks, suddenly defensive. 

“N-nothing, no, I’m sorry,” Kara says, stumbling over her words in an attempt to fix things. “It’s none of my business. I’ll just… um, I’ll just go.”

Kara walks over to the balcony and pauses. 

“I’ll still come… Like if you need help, I’ll still come if you need me. I just can’t…”

“I understand. Thank you.”


	3. Chapter 3

When Alex finds Kara, she’s curled up under to blankets, sobbing on her couch. Kara knew Alex would come looking because Kara had been ignoring her calls. She had, in fact, completely turned off her phone after sending Lena a text that said she was feeling sick and wouldn’t be able to watch _Hidden Figures_ with her the next day. 

Sometimes Alex’s overprotectiveness drives Kara crazy but sometimes it’s nice knowing that Alex will come at the first sign of trouble. It means that Kara doesn’t have to say anything, doesn’t have to ask for help. Alex will always be there to offer it no matter what. 

Alex doesn’t ask what’s wrong. She knew that Kara was going to see Lena. She had warned her against it. She is almost certainly fighting the urge to say ‘I told you so’ but Alex has never been cruel, so instead she just gathers Kara up into her arms and pets her hair until Kara’s breathing evens out.

“What happened?” she asks. 

“Nothing. I told her that I didn’t want to be her fuck buddy anymore and she didn’t seem to care,” Kara says as bitterly as she can manage.

“I thought you wanted her to like Kara, not Supergirl.”

“We’re the same person Alex,” Kara says. “If I can’t get her to like Supergirl even a little bit then she probably won’t like Kara. I mean, Supergirl is the best parts of me. You know? She’s brave and strong and good and if I can’t get Lena to fall for that, how could she ever fall for Kara?”

“I fell for Kara,” Alex says. “So did Winn and James. Because Kara is cute and dorky and a little funny and she’s got something that Supergirl doesn’t.”

“What?”

“A personality. You always talk about how Supergirl can’t be a person, she can only be a symbol and that means that she’s this idealized version of you who is good to look up to but is honestly kind of boring to hang out with.”

Kara scoffs. 

“I mean it. People will always idolize Supergirl. It’s hard not to. She’s a hero. But people won’t fall in love with her. It’s Kara that they’ll fall in love with every time.”

Kara sniffs. 

“There’s seven billion people in the world. Why would she fall for me?”

“Okay, first of all, she doesn’t know all seven billion people. She probably only knows a couple thousand and only knows like thirty really well. Out of all of those, you’re probably the person she cares about the most.”

“Yeah, cause we’re friends. And you don’t know that. Maybe she has whole other friends that we know nothing about that and she’s in love with them.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the optimistic one? Honestly, she gave you unfettered access to her office. She left an essay worth of texts when she didn’t see you for a week. She gets of work early for you and cancels meetings for you. I don’t think she’d do that for just anyone. And maybe you’re right. Maybe she’s not in love with you but Kara, you have to know how you affect other people. I mean, you light up every room you walk in. You’re so kind and so caring and you make everyone around you want to be a better person. You make me want to be a better person. Lena’s blind if she can’t see that.”

“You’re already the best person,” Kara says, hiding her face into the crook of Alex’s neck. 

She feels more than hears Alex laugh against her. 

“I’m saying Lena Luthor could totally be in love with you. I would actually put money on it.”

The words are barely out of Alex’s mouth before there’s a knock on the door. Kara glances at, and then through the door and blanches. 

“What?” Alex asks quietly. “Who is it?”

“Lena,” Kara whispers back. 

Lena knocks again and calls Kara’s name through the door.

“Are you going to let her in?” Alex asks. 

“No!” Kara says. 

Alex hums quietly in the back of her throat and then stands up. 

“Alex! No! Alex what are you doing?” Kara whisper-shouts. 

Alex doesn’t stop or even slow down as she makes her way to the door. She turns to Kara at the last second and mouths ‘Lie down’. She waits until Kara has curled herself under the blankets on the couch before opening the door to reveal Lena standing on the other side with a bag from Panera in one hand. 

“Lena!” Alex says, in a much more friendly voice than Alex ever uses with anyone. “What a surprise. Unfortunately Kara isn’t feeling well right now so if you were looking to hang out with her now might not be the best time."

“I know,” Lena says. “She texted me telling me she was sick. I just thought… I picked up some chicken soup and bread from Panera in case she wanted to eat but I see you’ve got it handled, so I’ll just be on my way.”

“No, no,” Alex’s says, placing her hand on Lena’s elbow to keep her from leaving. “I haven’t had the chance to get her food yet so this is actually perfect. Come on in, I know she’d love to see you.”

Kara rolls her eyes at Alex. It isn’t often that the other woman plays matchmaker, much preferring it when everyone stays far, far away from her little sister. But when she does, it’s always a little over the top.

“Well, now that you have someone else taking care of you, I’m going to go home and shower because it’s been a long day. Bye Kara! Feel better!”

Kara knows that Alex can’t see her face but she glares anyway hoping that Alex will feel the vibes. The door shuts behind her and then all Kara hears is the tell-tale clicking of Lena’s heels. She wonders if she can get away with a burst of superspeed to disappear before Lena can get to her but she knows that, as fast as she is, she’s not that fast. 

Lena finally rounds the corner of the couch and, when she catches sight of Kara, she frowns. Kara wonders what she looks like. She hadn’t bothered fixing her hair after flying over and her eyes must still be red and swollen from the crying. Which is good because hopefully it’ll make her look sick and give some credence to her lie.

Lena coos and sits by Kara’s legs on the couch, rubbing her knee comfortingly. 

“Aw, honey. Are you okay? You look tired.”

“I’m fine,” Kara says, trying to make her voice sound a little scratchy. “I think it’s just a cold.”

“Have you taken any medicine?”

Kara nods quickly so that Lena won’t think to offer her any. It would be a waste and Kara doesn’t like taking pills. She doesn’t have much practice with it and always ends up nearly choking. 

“Well then. I guess the best thing is rest. But you should have something to eat. And water. It won’t do for you to get dehydrated.”

Kara nods meekly. Lena’s expression is soft and warm and so far removed from how she looked at Supergirl earlier that it makes Kara’s head spin. She’d always thought that the difference between how Lena treated Supergirl and how Lena treated Kara were because she was sleeping with Supergirl. But the way she’s doting over Kara right now feels so much more intimate than anything she’d ever done with Supergirl. 

Once Kara has finished eating and drinks a whole glass of water under Lena’s watchful eye, Lena busies herself with cleaning up. Kara watches her as she moves. It’s clear that Lena had come straight from work. She’s still in her work clothes and her briefcase now sits by the couch. But it’s early still, only 5:30 and Kara knows that Lena hasn’t left work earlier than seven in weeks. 

“Why did you come?” Kara asks quietly. 

Lena stutters in her movements, and then drying her hands turns to Kara. Her expression is incredibly vulnerable and Kara fights to understand what that means. 

“I was worried, I guess. I mean, not worried because I know that it’s just a cold and you’ll be fine just… I don’t know. I didn’t want you to be alone if you weren’t feeling well. And I didn’t want you to not feel well in the first place. And I thought I could help. If I’m intruding I can leave.”

“No, no, no,” Kara says, “I didn’t… I just meant the you’re a busy woman. And you probably have things you need to be doing and I don’t understand why you’re here.”

“Nothing I do is more important than you,” Lena says fiercely. 

Kara stops breathing and her heart skips a hopeful beat. The way Lena is looking at her now, for a second, dispels all of Kara’s insecurities. She starts to believe that maybe, just maybe Alex might have been on to something. 

But just as quickly as that hope blooms, it is crushed because Kara likes Lena enough to know that she couldn’t stand lying to her for long and she doesn’t want to think about what Lena would say if she found out that Kara had used her alternate identity to sleep with her. The whole situation makes it hard to breathe and Kara knows that she’ll get over it and learn to move on at some point, but right now she’s exhausted and she desperately needs space.

“That’s very nice of you,” Kara replies. “Thank you for coming. But, I don’t want you getting sick.”

The dismissal is clear if only from Kara’s tone. Lena’s face falls a little. 

“Right, of course,” Lena says, gathering her stuff and not making eye contact. “I’ll be going then. Um, I hope you feel better soon.”

“I’ll be better by Monday probably. We should grab lunch.”

“I would love to, Kara,” Lena says a little sadly. 

She presses a kiss to the crown of Kara’s head that has Kara’s eyes fluttering shut and then she leaves.  

 

* * *

 

Nothing changes between them though Kara feels like something should be different. _She_ feels different somehow now that Lena knows that Supergirl has feelings for her and thinks that Kara doesn’t. Everything feels off kilter. It’s exactly what Kara never wanted to happen but she has no one to blame but herself. 

And so, things go back to normal and Kara does her best to let them. It’s harder now though, because she can’t forget the look in Lena’s eyes that night in her apartment, so open and caring. She spends half her time convincing herself that maybe that’s just how Lena looks at her friends and the other half imagining more and more elaborate scenarios where asking Lena out doesn’t blow up in her face. The thought that Lena might very well say yes is tantalizing and though she knows it might wreck her, she can’t stop thinking about it. So sometimes she might flirt a little just to see if it gets a reaction, to remind herself that even if this isn’t something she can actually go through with, it’s still a real thing. Every time, without fail, Lena’s heart speeds up and she flushes almost imperceptibly. 

Kara lets it be a game for nearly a month. She sees how far she can push Lena without revealing anything. She tests her theory that Lena might actually like her until she’s convinced herself almost beyond a shadow of a doubt. But as soon as that happens, it starts to get too much. It hurts to know that she could have Lena if she wanted, but only if she kept her lie intact. She’s pretty sure if she asked, Lena would go on a date with her. She’s also pretty sure that if she told Lena she was Supergirl, Lena would never speak to her again. So she slowly starts pulling away. She doesn’t realize she’s doing it at first but the thought of having lunch with Lena just as friends is exhausting so she ends up making excuses. 

It only hits her when she realizes that she hasn’t seen Lena in over a week and it hadn’t been from lack of trying by the CEO. She feels awful. It’s not Lena’s fault that Kara put herself in this impossible situation but she’s certainly feeling the effects. 

That night, Kara swears to herself that she will fix things with Lena. She will ask her out to lunch and they will continue their friend dates and everything will be fine. 

The universe plots against her again. 

She’s halfway through a pint of half-baked when a portal opens in her living room and Barry stumbles in, bloody and beaten. Kara is up on her feet in an instant, catching him before he falls. 

“Barry??"

“We need your help, Kara,” he says. “They have everyone. Oliver, Sara, Iris. Only Cisco and Caitlin are safe. For now. Please, we have to hurry.”

Kara superspeeds into her suit and sends off a text to Alex before diving into the portal. 

 

* * *

 

It’s a hard-fought battle of the worst sort. Someone hacked into Queen Consolidated, S.T.A.R Labs, Argus and every other major company that had done any work on anti-metahuman weapons. Their break-ins had gotten them all of the information needed to release everyone the Flash ever imprisoned. They also knew all of the weaknesses of all of the heroes he and Green Arrow had ever worked with. 

But no one on Earth-1 could have ever prepared for Supergirl and since nothing from Krypton had ever landed on earth, they didn’t even have kryptonite. It still takes a little doing because Kara isn’t _actually_ indestructible and she is blown up on three different occasions before she’s able to get the other heroes out of the prisons they’d been held in. 

The concussive force is bad enough that she can barely see straight by the end of it. She lets them deal with the clean up as she lies in a sunbed that Cisco had rigged up with surprising speed. 

“I didn’t know you could get hurt,” Sara says, poking at one of the bruises on Kara’s ribs experimentally. 

“Ow,” Kara whines though it doesn’t hurt that much anymore. “I’m not literally indestructible. Large scale explosives can still do some damage. And I was blown up not once, not twice, but three times trying to save you guys. So yeah, I’m a little concussed.”

“Barry says that you were hit with four pounds of C4. That’s like being hit by three thousand flaming eighteen wheelers all at the same time and you just have a concussion,” Felicity says, awe apparent in her voice. 

Sara whistles lowly. 

“Man, am I glad you’re here. What would we have to do to get you to stay full time?” Jax says, rolling his shoulders experimentally as Gideon lets him up off of the med bay table. He’d taken a pretty hard hit and had been sporting five broken ribs before Gideon had done her magic and patched him up. 

Kara laughs. Sometimes she thinks she wouldn’t mind staying here. She loves spending time with other full-time heroes. The only other one she really could spend time with is Superman, and while it’s fun every time, she always gets this distinct feeling that he’s watching out for her, like he sees her mostly as his baby cousin. With these guys, she doesn’t feel like she’s being tested at every turn. And once Oliver had gotten over his mistrust of her, she actually started to feel like part of the group. 

“I couldn’t,” she says. “I mean, you guys are great and all but I have a sister and friends and a job I want to get back to. But, hey, feel free to call me anytime. I’m always up for helping a friend.”

“Well, we love having you,” Oliver says and it’s such a turnaround from when they first met that Kara can’t help grinning up at him. 

She wants to stay a little longer, to hang out with them just a bit and talk to them. She wants to hear their stories (Mick’s backstory had been colorful but she somehow gets the feeling that his isn’t the only interesting one) and she wants to learn what she can from them. But she’s been gone from home for over a week now and she know that Alex must be itching with worry, not to mention all of her other friends. 

So Kara stands and bids everyone good bye. She heads out of the ship so that she can find Cisco and have him open up a portal for her. She’s stopped when Sara runs after her and calls her name. 

“Wait, Kara!” she says. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Kara asks. 

“So. I know you want to get back now, but would you like to sometime maybe grab a drink with me? Whenever you’re free. I have a time machine so I could meet you wherever, _when_ ever.”

Kara blushes all the way up to her ears. Sara is incredibly gorgeous, incredibly badass, and just incredible all around. But she’s not her type. Well, maybe she would have been once upon a time, but now Kara’s type has dark hair and green eyes and might have feelings for her before she fucked everything up.

“I… Thank you, I’m flattered. But I can’t. I mean, I’d love to get drinks sometimes but like as friends?”

Luckily Sara doesn’t look particularly put out. She laughs, her blue eyes glittering a little. 

“That’s fine, Supergirl. Let’s get drinks as friends sometime. And you can tell me about whatever pretty girl you were thinking about just then.’

“What? No, I wasn’t… I mean… Is it that obvious?”

“Not to most people,” Sara says, her voice dipping a little. “But I’ve learned how to read people pretty well. Is she nice, your girl?”

“She-She’s not my girl. She’s just… She’s amazing.”

“But she’s not your girl?”

“I….” Kara pauses and tries to put her words in the right order. “Okay, so like it’s kind of complicated and I definitely messed up, and I might not be able to fix it. It’s just… I slept with her as Supergirl because I didn’t think she liked Kara Danvers but then I felt bad about lying to her so I broke it off. And now it turns out that maybe she does like Kara Danvers. But I can’t… I mean, I’d have to tell her that I’m Supergirl at some point… which means I would have to tell her that I lied to her about who I was, and then used my alter ego to sleep with her, and then lied to her some more.”

Sara hesitates for a beat after Kara stops talking and then bursts out laughing. Kara groans because that really wasn’t the reaction she’d been hoping for. She stands by patiently and a little offended as Sara practically falls over laughing. Eventually she is able to get herself under control and she straightens, wiping her eyes as she does.

“Oh wow. I have seen lots of fun cases of mistaken identity, cause it happens a lot in our business but this… this takes the cake. I mean that’s freaking hilarious.”

“Sara,” Kara whines, barely refraining from stomping her foot petulantly as she does. “It’s not funny.”

“No, it’s hilarious. But you’re right, it does suck."

“What am I supposed to do?”

Sara purses her lips and looks up at the ceiling pensively. 

“I hate to break it to you, but I think the only solution to this is for you to tell the truth. You gotta come clean. And either she’s going to be freaked out and pissed and never want to see you again.” Kara groans. “ _Or_ , she’ll realize that she loves you enough that it doesn’t matter and maybe she’ll even be flattered that you were so attracted to her that you literally _flew_ to her to her so you could get it on. Like, I have to say, any person that would make the effort of flying to fuck me would have my vote.”

“Flying isn’t actually that hard for me. Easier than walking really,” Kara says.

“Whatever. The point is… and I think you already knew this, you have to tell her the truth. And don’t you dare put it off. You go through that portal and you go straight to her house or whatever and you tell her everything. And hey, if she decides she wants nothing to do with you, call me and we’ll meet up. I know a fun place in Star City we can hang and you can cry on my shoulder or whatever aliens do when they’ve been dumped.”

“You’re not really doing a great job of convincing me here,” Kara says miserably. 

“Alright, how about this? I’ve known you for, well a while technically, but in total we’ve only spent like two weeks together. But despite that, I already have a huge crush on you because you’re gorgeous and sweet and kind and smart and wonderful in every possible way. Honestly, you’re like my dream girl, and this girl that you like so much would be a fucking idiot to turn you down for sleeping with her. You’re amazing Kara. I’m not just saying that. You got Oliver to like you in three days. Do you know how impressive that is? Even Mick likes you and usually he’s allergic to your brand of optimism. So go out there and be yourself and get the girl.”

Kara finds herself torn between blushing and tearing up and then finds, with some surprise, that she can actually do both. Sara chuckles and pulls her into a tight hug. When she releases her, she brushes a strand of hair out of Kara’s face and presses a kiss to her cheek. 

“You’ve got this,” Sara mumbles and then lets Kara go. 

Kara finds Cisco and thanks him and hugs him tight, telling him to call her whenever they need help. He grins at her and then opens the portal, waving as she steps through. 

Kara appears in her apartment, where Alex is sitting on her couch nursing a glass of scotch. She almost gets shot as she startles Alex badly enough that she has her gun up before Kara’s even got her bearings. 

“Kara?” she says, dropping the gun and pulling her sister into a hug. “Thank god you’re alright.”

Then just as suddenly as Alex pulled her in, she pushes her away, hitting her as hard as she can stand to without damaging her hand. 

“Don’t you dare go to another universe without me ever again. Do you understand? Next time you want to field trip to another planet, I better be with you or I’m disowning you.”

“Alex, I’m sorry, I had to go.”

“I get that, but I never ever want to have to sit here waiting, not knowing when or if you’re getting back. I can stand you fighting all sorts of people if I am behind you, watching you and making sure that you know what you’re up against. I can’t stand it if I don’t know. Okay?”

Alex is crying by now and Kara feels awful. She knew that Alex didn’t like it when she went off on her own. She pulls Alex back into her arms and hold her tight until Alex stops crying. 

“I’m sorry. Alex. Next time, I promise I’ll bring you with.”

“I have been fielding calls from everyone this week. Snapper thinks that there was a family emergency but I don’t think he’ll be very happy when you get back to work. James and Winn and Hank and Mon-El are just as worried as I am. And Lena has called me no less than three times. I tried to tell her that you’re okay, but apparently you’ve been avoiding her?”

“I have to go see her. I have to apologize and explain and maybe she won’t ever forgive me but-“

“Kara… Are you saying that you want to tell her that you’re Supergirl?”

“Uhhhhhhh, maybe?”

Alex sighs.

“Alright. Fine. But if I have to lock her up in the darkest cell of the DEO because she’s going to expose you, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Kara grins. Having Alex’s somewhat grudging approval means more to her than she’ll ever be able to say so she settles for hugging her one more time. 

“Okay, well, I’ll see you later. Have ice cream on hand.”

“Wait, what? Are you going now?” Alex asks. 

“No time like the present.”

And with that Kara, leaps out of her apartment window. She flies by L-Corp to see that Lena is still there, which is unsurprising, if a little unhealthy. It’s already ten o’clock at night and she really should be at home. Kara drops down to street-level quickly changes into Kara clothes in an alleyway and marches up to the front door. 

Jess eyes her curiously but waves her right up when she asks to see Lena. Once she’s in the elevator, Kara hears Jess call ahead so she knows that Lena is expecting her and Kara knows there’s no backing out anymore. She trips three times on her way from the elevator to Lena’s office because she’s so nervous and the first time she knocks, it’s so quiet that even she can barely hear it. She tries again. 

“Come in,” Lena says. 

Kara pushes open the door to see Lena sitting on the other side with raised eyebrows looking incredibly miffed. 

“You disappeared again. Alex tells me you weren’t hurt this time, but she wouldn’t tell me where you were. Are you okay?”

 “Uh, yes,” Kara says. “I’m fine. Not hurt at all."

“Care to tell me where you were? Or at least give some reason for why you’ve been avoiding me for weeks?”

Kara takes a deep breath and looks around the office to make sure she knows where all the exits are. She knows she came here willingly but somehow she feels like she walked into a trap. 

“I… um. Well, it’s kind of a long story. And you… um, you probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Kara,” Lena says and her voice is pained. “If you didn’t want to see me, you should have just told me. You don’t have to lie to me or make up some ridiculous story. I… If I did something to make you uncomfortable, I’m sorry and if you never want to see me again, I understand.”

Kara is shaking her head before Lena even finishes talking.

“No, no,” Kara says. “That’s the thing. I’ve been lying to you for so long. Ever since we first met really and that’s why… I mean, I think it’s time I stopped lying to you once and for all.”

Lena frowns, her eyebrows drawing together and her lips dipping into a pout. But she doesn’t say anything so Kara continues.

“The reason I haven’t been around is because I was in another universe helping save some of my friends from some people who were out to destroy the world.”

Lena blinks and then frowns. 

“Is that a joke?”

“Nope,” Kara says. “Um, it’s the truth.”

Lena scoffs angrily.

“Okay, if I did something to piss you off and this is your way of getting revenge or whatever, you can fuck off. I’m sorry for whatever I did, but you don’t get to mock me like this.”

“I’m not,” Kara reassures quickly, realizing that things are getting a little out of hand. “I promise. I just… okay, so I probably shouldn’t have led with that. Um, I’m about to tell you something that will probably clear everything up, but um… can you please try not to be mad?”

Lena rolls her eyes.

“I’m already mad, Kara. I thought you were different than this. I never thought you could be this petty or cruel,” Lena says, her voice low, dangerous, and hurt.

Kara takes a step forward and shakes her head violently. She reaches out to Lena though they aren’t close enough to touch.

“Please Lena. Please. Everything will make sense in a second. But please listen before you get angry. I promise if you let me say this I’ll do whatever you want. If you want me to leave, I’ll leave.”

Lena’s expression shifts and her anger fades a little. She must realize now that this isn’t some cruel practical joke and that somehow Kara is serious. Her spine straightens and her brows furrow in concern but she nods. 

“I am Supergirl.”

Time seems to freeze for a second as Lena’s expression remains unchanged for what feels like a very long time. And then slowly Kara watches confusion, understanding, and then something indescribable flicker across Lena’s face. She looks like she’s been hit by a truck. Kara hears her breath catch and her heart trip. But she doesn’t say anything. She just stares and Kara can’t take the silence so she does what she does best and starts babbling. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner but it’s instinct at this point to not tell people. I’ve been hiding it my whole life and it’s hard to get past that sometimes. But anyway, you might remember… um, well… sleeping with me, as Supergirl, which was an awful thing for me to do to you because you’re friends with Kara and I… I knew what I was doing and you didn’t… um you didn’t have the whole story. Which was so unfair of me to do. But I really liked you and I thought that Kara could never have a chance with you and then you came on to me, as Supergirl, and I didn’t know how to say no. But then you were hanging out with Kara and you liked her, me, and you trusted me and I was being so unfair to you. And, I realized that I couldn’t be with you as Kara, not when I’d been lying to you the whole time. So I ran away again, which is why I’ve been avoiding you. Because I might be a hero most of the time, but you scare me so much because you… I mean, you’re you. You’re beautiful and smart and good and so much better than I am and I don’t know how you could even want me. And I—“

“Kara!” Lena says sharply. “Stop talking.”

Kara presses her lips together and hangs her head. She hears Lena take a deep breath that she lets out a little unsteadily. 

“I need to, um… Please, see yourself out.”

Oh, so that’s what it feels like to have your heart broken. Kara tries very hard to keep her tears in, at least until she’s outside, but she can’t stop them from running down her face. She hears Lena make some sort of noise in the back of her throat but she can’t figure out what it means as she blindly stumbles back out of the building. 

Her eyes are too fogged up for her to be able to fly without crashing so Kara keeps walking, head down, arms wrapped around herself. She’s barely paying attention as she makes her way back home. Eventually, she gets there, and Alex is still there like the perfect sister that she is and Kara doesn’t pause before falling into her arms. 

Alex, thankfully doesn’t say anything and just pets her hair and holds her tight enough to bruise a human. Kara doesn’t know when she stops crying or when she and Alex shifted to horizontal but she finds herself falling asleep and vaguely hopes that she doesn’t wake up for a long time.  

 

* * *

 

When they wake up on the couch in the morning, Alex is sore and complains about it loudly at every chance she gets. Kara laughs a little hollowly and gives her a massage to get the worst of the kinks out. Alex doesn’t say anything about the night before except, “I don’t have to lock her away, do I?” and when Kara shakes her head, she drops it. 

Alex convinces Kara to go to work. 

“Moping around here won’t help anyone and Snapper is probably about to … well, snap. So go out there and find the coolest story in town and write it so that he doesn’t fire you."

Kara nods and gets dressed automatically. 

It turns out going to work was the right thing to do. She gets to see James, who is overjoyed and who practically lifts her up when he hugs her. He says they should get drinks later so that she can tell him all about it and she agrees. When she gets to the office Snapper immediately dumps so much work on her that she barely has half a second to think, much less mope. By the end of the day, she’s bone tired. 

But she goes out to drinks with James, inviting Winn as well because they both know he’ll be mad if she talks to James and not to him. They ask a billion questions that she happily answers. She likes talking about superhero stuff as if it’s normal and they’re both so excited for her that she can’t help but feel excited as well, despite everything that happened the night before. 

“You think you could take me next time?” Winn asks. 

“I dunno. Maybe. You and Felicity would get along really well. She’s a computer nerd too. And Cisco is great with the tech and he likes naming things. He also makes suits.”

“Better than mine?” Winn asks, sounding genuinely worried.

“I love my suit Winn. His are pretty cool though. You could totally compare notes.”

“Well take me sometime. There doesn’t even have to be a world-ending disaster. We can have a super-friends convention.”

Kara laughs. She forgets sometimes how great the guys are. She gets wrapped up with trying to be Supergirl and trying to be Kara that she doesn’t spend as much time with them as she used to. Winn has been her best friend since they met and only half of it is because he has the same love of cardigans as she does. Mostly it’s because he is fun and never fails to make her feel better if she’s having a bad day. And James…. well, she’d fallen for him for a reason. There are few people she feels safer around. 

But when she gets home that night, the boys aren’t around anymore and her apartment is too quiet and Kara can’t stop herself from checking her phone to see if she has any messages. She hopes for something from Lena, but she’d be okay with something from the DEO telling her there’s an alien to beat up somewhere. Something to keep her occupied. But her phone is irritatingly silent. 

She slips into her suit and flies out into the night. Flying during the day is happy and warm and beautiful. It lets Kara see all of the world she’s protecting, the kids on the streets, men and women on their way to work, birds and dogs and trees and all sorts of lovely things. Flying at night is quiet and cool and a little lonely but not in a bad way. The city is never fully quiet, but it gets quieter and more peaceful. But Kara doesn’t want to be in National City tonight. The ‘L-Corp’ sign is lit up where it looms over the city and it just reminds her of Lena’s expression when she asked her to leave and it makes Kara nauseous. She leaves the city as quickly as she can, flying over the desert instead. 

The desert at night is even quieter than the city, but Kara had been pleased to discover on her early trips out, that it was never completely quiet. Most of the desert’s life came out at night and she swoops low to watch the coyotes and bats and the foxes revel in the cool night air. She flies north, over deserts and then forests until she reaches the towering redwoods up north. She takes up residence in one of the treetops, apologizing for disrupting a family of martens by accident. She leans against one of the wide branches and looks up at the stars. 

She’d hoped that she could be normal. She’d pretended to be for years but even before she’d been Supergirl there was something off. And now that she is Supergirl it’s even worse. She loves being Supergirl, of course, more than anything. But she wishes she could have Supergirl _and_ a normal life, a normal relationship. It hadn’t worked with Adam because she’d been kidnapped and she hadn’t wanted to put him in danger. It hadn’t worked with James because she’d always been called away, had never been able to commit fully. And now Lena. 

Kara wonders if her parents knew that this would happen. If they hoped that she’d find a family and love or if they knew that she would only ever be a hero on Earth because she would never truly fit in. She searches among the constellations for where she knows Krypton must have been approximately and she finds herself wishing more than anything else that she’d never been sent to earth in the first place. 

She doesn’t fly back to National City until the sun is peeking out over the horizon.

 

* * *

 

For the next week, Kara runs herself into the ground. If she keeps herself busy, working, then she won’t have time to think about the fact that she hasn’t heard anything from Lena, that she hasn’t seen Lena, and that she probably never will again. Snapper almost compliments her when her hard work gets her a big story and James and Winn are ecstatic to see her more often. J’onn is a little worried and Alex is a lot worried but they don’t try and stop her from going out as often as she can and helping on missions that don’t necessarily need Supergirl.  

On Friday, there’s a break-in at L-Corp. A disgruntled ex-employee who Lena had fired for being too sympathetic towards Lex had come back to try and exact some revenge. His target was not Lena, but instead her lab on the lower levels and the bomb and been primed and ready to go when Supergirl had swooped in and flown it out into the desert so that it could detonate safely without hurting anyone. 

When she gets back to the city, she flies a loop around L-Corp listening for anything else out of the ordinary but she doesn’t find anything and she lets Alex and the agents deal with the rest. She doesn’t think Lena wants to see her and she’s not sure she could stand to have Lena look at her with disgust or anger. But as she flies away, she catches a glimpse of Lena in her office, watching her. Her expression is unreadable and Kara swoops away before she can let herself think too hard. 

Kara goes out with the boys again to the alien bar that night, hoping that they can help her forget again. James really wants to play pool so they humor him even though Winn and Kara are entirely hopeless at it. Despite swearing that he’s going easy on them, James beats both her and Winn (they both get a try when it’s their turn and they’re both so bad that even with the extra turn they’ve only sunk two balls by the time the game is over). Winn whines about how it could possibly be this hard when it’s just physics and geometry which he is much better at than James. Kara is about to reply with some sort of comfort but she’s interrupted by her phone. She pulls it out and sees that it’s Alex calling. 

“Hey, Alex. What’s up?”

“Um, I’m guessing you’re not home,” Alex whispers.

“No. I’m not. Why are you whispering?”

“Because I’m hiding. Lena Luthor is standing in your hallway, by the way.”

“What?” Kara says, gripping her cue so tight it nearly snaps in her hands. 

“Uh, yeah sis. You better believe it. Get over here. I don’t know how long she’s been standing here waiting, but I think it’s been a while. Don’t make her wait any longer.”

Kara hangs up. 

“I’m sorry guys. I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

The boys are well-used to her having to run out on them so they just grin and nod and wave to her as she leaves. As she steps out of the bar, she hears Winn bemoan that he really has no chance now. 

Kara flies to her apartment building and cautiously walks up the stairs. She finds Alex crouching behind the corner that turns to her hallway, peeking out every so often. When she hears Kara approaching, she puts her finger on her lips. 

“She’s been pacing for the last fifteen minutes. She kicked off her shoes ten minutes ago and took off her jacket about three minutes ago. I think she was going to wait until you got back, no matter what time that might have been.” 

“What do I do Alex?” Kara whispers back, panic creeping into her voice. 

“Just listen to what she has to say. Be cool. I’ll see you later.”

And with that Alex stands up and tiptoes down the stairs. Kara stalls by fussing with her hair, until it looks presentable and not like she flew here, and straightening her jacket. Then, with a deep breath, she steps into the hall. 

It takes Lena a second to notice her but when she does her face flickers through a series of emotions so quickly that even Kara can’t keep up. 

“Kara,” Lena says and her voice is soft, a mixture of pleading and reverence. “I… I didn’t know when you’d be home and I had to speak to you.”

Kara nods nervously. She doesn’t trust herself to speak right now so she just steps past Lena and opens her door, gesturing at her to come in. When the door closes behind them, they simply stop and stare at each other for a bit. Lena doesn’t look like she’s slept. There are dark circles under her eyes and she looks paler than usual. Her clothes are also uncharacteristically wrinkled, especially along the hem of her skirt as if she’d spent all day nervously adjusting it. 

“I… I tried all week to think about what I would say when I saw you again but I… I still don’t know. And I was going to wait until I figured it out, but then I saw you today and I couldn’t…”

Kara bites her bottom lip. 

“Can I, um, can I get you something to drink?” Kara asks, mostly as an excuse to look away, to move away from Lena. 

“Uh, no. No, thank you,” Lena says.

Kara goes into the kitchen and has to focus twice as hard not to break the glass she picks up because her hands are shaking and when she gets like this usually something gets shattered. She takes her time filling her glass with water and then drinking it in one go, ignoring the way Lena is watching her. She starts to slowly fill the glass again as she realizes that she’s still not ready to look at Lena. Maybe she won’t ever be ready. She wonders how many glasses she can get away with filling and drinking before Lena calls her out on it.  

While Kara drinks, Lena gets more and more fidgety and Kara hears as her heartbeat picks up. She’s clearly getting anxious and that isn’t Kara’s intention at all, but she doesn’t know how to fix it. She doesn’t know what Lena wants from her. 

“I know you probably don’t want to see me right now,” Lena says eventually, voice soft and unsure. “I… before, I handled that badly. I was… surprised. I didn’t think…Kara can you please look at me?”

Kara slowly lowers the glass into the sink and turns around. She doesn’t look at Lena though and instead focuses her eyes on one of her potted plants on her windowsill right over Lena’s left shoulder. It’s getting a little brown. She’ll have to water it. 

She doesn’t want to look at Lena. She’s afraid of what she’ll see in Lena’s eyes. Fear maybe, mistrust. Kara really wants to believe that Lena doesn’t feel that way about aliens but she still hasn’t gotten rid of the alien detection device. Or maybe disgust that Kara would deceive her like she did. Or maybe, and this would be the worst, pity. Pity that Kara went and fell for her when she could never feel the same. 

“Did you actually think that?” Lena asks. 

The question is so vague that Kara almost laughs. She said a lot of things that night, only remembers about half of them, and she’s not quite sure what that could possibly refer to. 

“What?” she asks, hating that her voice sounds hoarse, hating that it cracks. 

“That you would never have a chance with me as yourself.”

Kara doesn’t answer, but that in itself is probably answer enough. 

“Oh, Kara,” Lena says taking a few steps forward. She stops when Kara flinches and Kara hears the shuddering breath she lets out as she draws back. “You are… you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Kara nearly chokes in disbelief. 

“You are,” Lena assures, walking closer again and this time not stopping until her hand is on Kara’s cheek. “You are so smart and kind and you gave me a chance when no one would. You believe in people and that’s so rare and so refreshing. And you care about people. Every person. Every human. Every alien. You aren’t afraid to fight for them. You go and you do your reporting and you say what you feel is right and good even if you could get in trouble for it. You’re so brave.”

She brushes her thumb along Kara’s cheek bone and she’s close enough now that Kara has to close her eyes to avoid looking at her. 

“And you are so, so beautiful. I was sure you didn’t see it but I didn’t know how to tell you that you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. There is no one in the world I could fall for more easily than you, Kara Danvers.”

Kara waits for the other shoe to drop. She waits for the ‘but I could never have feelings for Supergirl’. She waits for the ‘or so I thought before you lied to my face’. She waits for any sort of qualifier that will make this all make sense. Because Lena Luthor falling for Kara Danvers, forgiving Kara Danvers, that doesn’t make sense. Kara took a week to get used to it. She took a week to come to terms with it and now, Lena is undoing all that effort. 

“Kara,” Lena says quietly. “Please look at me.”

Kara finally opens her eyes and looks into Lena’s and her heart catches in her throat. Because Lena is crying a little, but her lips are turned up at the edges. Her expression is smooth with hope and awe and something that Kara is afraid to name. (It might be love but she’s not ready to go there yet). 

“I’m so sorry Lena,” Kara says, taking her hand and tangling their fingers together. “I’m sorry I lied to you, I’m sorry I…used you. I didn’t mean to. I just didn’t know how to stay away. I’m sorry for everything.”

Lena shakes her head. 

“No, it’s okay Kara. It’s okay. Though I can’t believe that I slept with you to get over you.”

Kara lets out broken laugh. 

“We both made bad decisions,” Lena says. “I thought that you were straight. And I’ve fallen for straight girls before and it always sucks and I was afraid that it would happen again. And then Supergirl, you, were there and you were oh, so gorgeous, and I slept with her, you, without any sort of consideration for her feelings and without even giving you a chance. If I had asked you, Kara, out before, would you have said yes?”

“I don’t know,” Kara says. “I didn’t notice I had feelings for you until… well until that day we had lunch after… And I kept thinking that Supergirl got to sleep with you, which was really nice by the way,” Lena smirks, “But she didn’t get to go out to lunch with you. You could never date her. And I didn’t know I wanted any of that until then.”

Lena nods. 

“And if I ask you out now, will you say yes?”

“Definitely,” Kara breathes out and Lena smiles up at her in delight. 

“Well, in that case, Kara Danvers. Would you go on a date with me?”

“Yes.” 

Lena smiles and then brings her free hand up to tangle into Kara’s hair. She kisses Kara and it’s softer than anything they’ve shared before. Lena opens herself to Kara and unlike with Supergirl, she gives herself up to Kara entirely. Kara can feel it in how she melts against her, in how soft she becomes as Kara’s arms snake around her waist to pull her closer. 

When they pull away, hearts racing and breaths short, Kara can’t stop smiling. 

“I should go,” Lena says. “Before I do something I regret, like put out before the first date.”

Kara laughs.

“Well, technically…”

“Doesn’t count!” Lena says quickly, and then softening. “I look forward to our date. I can’t wait.”

“Then let’s not wait,” Kara says, pulling away suddenly and grabbing her coat. 

Lena watches her in confusion. 

“There’s a really great Chinese place down the street. And we’ve waited long enough, right?” Kara says hopefully. 

For a second, Kara worries she’s been to forward, too eager because Lena just gapes at her. But then Lena’s face splits into this wide, wide grin. She grabs her coat, and then slips her hand into Kara’s. 

“Lead the way, Miss Danvers.”


End file.
